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A discussion of all things Thursday !
A whoreson scurvy knave
Posted by: Sarah (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 10, 2002 11:42AM
<HTML>This is an appeal to those of you who are still in contact with Mr Shakespeare; it's no longer safe for me to go and visit him personally, as Major-General Gregorian is bound to have sent an agent to wait for me.
Basically, I need a tirade, and there has never been anyone better at that than old Bill. This is the situation. Yesterday I had to take Chomsky, the dopey but much-loved brother of Minsky, to the vet because of cystitis, to which he is unfortunately prone. When I arrived, I was told that I still had a bill of about £25 outstanding from the last visit, which was just over a year ago.
Husband 1.1.1 left me in January with extravagant promises to pay off all his outstanding debts. In fact what happened was that he left me saddled with all those he could conceivably manage to dump on me, which naturally means I'm not exactly well off. In February I got a reminder for the vet's bill, and at this point I was still speaking to my ex, not yet quite realising how badly I'd been lied to. "Oh," he said, "forward it to me, I'll take care of that." I duly forwarded it. What a damned waste of time.
£25 is absolute peanuts compared with the rest of what he owes me, but I've been spitting feathers about it since yesterday. If he does wrong by me, I can take it on the chin like the ex-captain of the ChronoGuard that I am, but if he does wrong by my cats I become a snarling, murderous fury. If I hadn't happened to have the money on me at the time (incidentally earmarked for the rest of the Christmas shopping), poor old Chomsky would have gone on suffering. As it is, I did, and he's now on antibiotics and looking perkier already, thank goodness.
So could someone please pass on my kind regards to the Bard and ask him for his thoughts on this whoreson scurvy knave? I'm sure it would make me feel a lot better - and he could always file the tirade for future reference; perhaps with a few name changes, he could incorporate it into "Cardenio"...</HTML>
Basically, I need a tirade, and there has never been anyone better at that than old Bill. This is the situation. Yesterday I had to take Chomsky, the dopey but much-loved brother of Minsky, to the vet because of cystitis, to which he is unfortunately prone. When I arrived, I was told that I still had a bill of about £25 outstanding from the last visit, which was just over a year ago.
Husband 1.1.1 left me in January with extravagant promises to pay off all his outstanding debts. In fact what happened was that he left me saddled with all those he could conceivably manage to dump on me, which naturally means I'm not exactly well off. In February I got a reminder for the vet's bill, and at this point I was still speaking to my ex, not yet quite realising how badly I'd been lied to. "Oh," he said, "forward it to me, I'll take care of that." I duly forwarded it. What a damned waste of time.
£25 is absolute peanuts compared with the rest of what he owes me, but I've been spitting feathers about it since yesterday. If he does wrong by me, I can take it on the chin like the ex-captain of the ChronoGuard that I am, but if he does wrong by my cats I become a snarling, murderous fury. If I hadn't happened to have the money on me at the time (incidentally earmarked for the rest of the Christmas shopping), poor old Chomsky would have gone on suffering. As it is, I did, and he's now on antibiotics and looking perkier already, thank goodness.
So could someone please pass on my kind regards to the Bard and ask him for his thoughts on this whoreson scurvy knave? I'm sure it would make me feel a lot better - and he could always file the tirade for future reference; perhaps with a few name changes, he could incorporate it into "Cardenio"...</HTML>
Greasy tallow-catch
Posted by: poetscientistdrinker (---.rdg.ac.uk)
Date: December 10, 2002 12:27PM
<HTML>Erm, if it mkaes you feel better try using this:
<a href="http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html?">Shakespeare Insult Generator</a>
or have a looksy here:
<a href="http://www.insults.net/html/shakespeare/">insults by play</a>
Try not to say them out loud in a crowded office, as pleasing as it is....</HTML>
<a href="http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html?">Shakespeare Insult Generator</a>
or have a looksy here:
<a href="http://www.insults.net/html/shakespeare/">insults by play</a>
Try not to say them out loud in a crowded office, as pleasing as it is....</HTML>
Re: Greasy tallow-catch
Posted by: jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: December 10, 2002 12:59PM
<HTML>Do you set down your name in the scroll of youth, that are written down old with all the characters of age? Have you not a moist eye, a dry hand, a yellow cheek, a white beard, a decreasing leg, an increasing belly? Is not your voice broken, your wind short, your chin double, your wit single, and every part about you blasted with antiquity? And will you yet call yourself young?
Taken from: Henry IV, part 2
That's me! All apart from the white beard, anyways.</HTML>
Taken from: Henry IV, part 2
That's me! All apart from the white beard, anyways.</HTML>
Re: Greasy tallow-catch
Posted by: Sarah (---.vip.uk.com)
Date: December 10, 2002 05:06PM
<HTML>Excellent stuff - there's no-one like Shakespeare for helping to vent one's spleen. Many thanks!</HTML>
Re: Greasy tallow-catch
Posted by: All-American-Cutie (---.dalect01.va.comcast.net)
Date: December 10, 2002 07:30PM
<HTML>Good God, Ben! I dub thee King of the obscure weblink!</HTML>
Re: Greasy tallow-catch
Posted by: poestscientistdrinker (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: December 10, 2002 07:55PM
<HTML>But anybody can get it off Google...
Not that I need to, but....
(me and Esme...)</HTML>
Not that I need to, but....
(me and Esme...)</HTML>
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