urban miffs
Posted by:
Jazz_Sue (---.bb.sky.com)
Date: October 08, 2008 07:33PM
I've started writing for Helium freelance, in the hope of being paid for doing this shite. They suggested you read other peoples' submissions, to begin with. As expected, I got as far as the joke pages ... and stayed there.
Anyhow, this made me laugh. It's supposed to be a true story, but I'm pretty sure it qualifies as an urban myth, firstly because there was at least one other version of this tale on the same site (this time, the lighthouse keeper was Canadian, and it was circa 1977) and secondly, because I'm pretty certain it's been doing the rounds, in its various forms, since at least the second world war.
Can anyone enlighten me on the originality or otherwise of this story? And are there any others in the same vein out there?
Anyway, enjoy.
"The following is the transcript of an actual radio conversation in October 1995, between a US Navy ship and The British authorities, off the Scottish North coast. The alleged transcript was released by the MoD on 10/10/95 .
BRITISH : Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid collision.
US Navy : Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
BRITISH : Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
US Navy : This is the Captain of US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
BRITISH : Negative. I say again. You will have to divert your course.
US NAVY : THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN. THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THATS 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
BRITISH : We are a lighthouse. F*#k off!."