Steve know how to tame crocheting computers ?
*looks again*
Ah, must get my eyes tested.

Computers, like horses, dogs, small children and wolves, can smell fear, sense inexperience and detect nerves.

They then play up to the maximum level of irritation they calculate a person's blood pressure will withstand, unless and until they are faced with a fearless expert competently wielding their knowledge and/or a large chainsaw.



My reality check has just bounced again.......

I knew where I was with Win98. I could get it to do what I wanted.

WinXP has just shifted everything around. Looks nice, doesn't crash, but it's a bugger to get to do anything remotely complicated.

One day I *will* take the plunge with Linux. Once I've finished playing Neverwinter Nights, that is.

Avon just used to threaten to disassemble Orac when it got too big for its circuits. Unfortunately, today's computers aren't quite intelligent enough for that to work.

Or maybe it was just the way Avon said it... *makes mental note to practise making threats using perfect diction without ever actually opening mouth*



..........................................................................................

That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

At least my computer, unlike Orac, has never shown an inclination to get real close to a black hole, just because it was curious.

My computer counts as curious. Although probably in a different sense. (The same could also be said of whichever silicon lifeform decides whether a post is new or not...)



PSD

==========

This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

Windows 3.1 was handy. And much simpler. Took five hours to boot up, but I don't remember it ever chrashing on me at all.

Windows 98, on the other hand, leaves me feeling severely disappointed if it hasn't crashed at least twice a day. And closed a window for no apparent reason. And commited an illegal operation.

What is an illegal operation anyways? One using scissors rather than a scalpel?



--------------

There's a hole in my creativity bucket and it's all leaked out.

If you really want to know....

An illegal operation is usually when one program or process trys to change or access part of the memory allocated to another program or process.

This becomes more likely the longer it's been since you rebooted your computer, because memory leaks from various programs gradually accumulate, reducing the available memory for programs.

(A memory leak is when a program grabs a bit of memory for it's use, then doesn't release it back to the system when it's finished with it, or when the program is terminated. It's a sign of sloppy programming, and terribly common.)

I was very proud of myself the first time I actually caused an illegal op error with my own code, rather than waiting for windows to do it for me.

(If you think Windows98 is bad, try WindowsME--it's far worse).



--------------
"I've often said that the difference between British and American SF TV series is that the British ones have three-dimensional characters and cardboard spaceships, while the Americans do it the other way around."
--Ross Smith

Computer w airbags? mm... I would rather bang my head against it cos a person can lose 150 calories from that exercise ...

My program caused a 'catastrophic error' a while ago. Computer did not blow up even if I half expected it to. I kept imagining poor developer thinking 'I used up all the other descriptions...let's make this one catastrophic!'

Speaking of computers....

Suddenly every time I hit "Go To Top" it remarks all the threads as new.

Sigh.

EDIT --> Never mind, I sorted it out. I'd heightened my security setting (to try to reduce pop-up ads) and in the process disabled whatever was keeping track of what I'd read. I've put it back now.



Post Edited (05-02-03 20:01)

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"I've often said that the difference between British and American SF TV series is that the British ones have three-dimensional characters and cardboard spaceships, while the Americans do it the other way around."
--Ross Smith

Is a catatonic error when it puts the computer into sleep mode?



PSD

==========

This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

Wouldn't that be "cataleptic" rather than "catatonic"?

************************************************************

"Some days I diet... "

*consults dictionary*

Catatonia// n.// Schizophrenia with intervals of catalepsy and sometimes violence // Catatonic - adj.

Reckon that about sums it up.



PSD

==========

This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

Yeah, but International Velvet was a good album.



- - -
I am very interested in the Universe. I am specialising in the Universe and everything surrounding it. - E. L. Wisty

*starts singing*

"If all you're computer's done today,
Is crash six times.
Calm down - cause mine has gone down nine."



PSD

==========

This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

Oh, dear... you have all my sympathy...

*goes off to tell David in the hope that it will make him feel better about his own benighted machine*



..........................................................................................

That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

Er, yes, this is what you get for not listening to popular music, you see, Sarah, cos Ben was in fact parodying a song from the album I mentioned earlier. His computer hasn't really crashed 9 times. (Has it?)

I do a mean Cerys Matthews, btw. This is slightly worrying.



- - -
I am very interested in the Universe. I am specialising in the Universe and everything surrounding it. - E. L. Wisty

Well, it might have done! Computers do that kind of thing. This is why David is finding it so hard to give up swearing.

And I do listen to _some_ popular music. I was actually listening to a very nice Buddy Holly album this afternoon...



..........................................................................................

That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

Why would someone want to give up swearing? It's so much fun...

Though, admittedly, it's handy to be able to turn off. Sometimes I can't remember non-swearing ways of saying what I want to say...

(This sounds like I swear more than I probably do.... it's just, I was trying to tell my mum something wasn't working, and my immediate thought was "it's fucked", and my second was "it's screwed". )



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Do something pretty while you can...