Yes, I'm off up north tomorow to Brisbane for the Brisbane Writers' Festival and Interstate Wind Breaking championship at which Jasper has absolutely demanded my attendance.

Never fear old fellow, I'll be there for you.

R. L. Stine has also asked me to be "in his quarter" so to speak, when he fronts the throng and I've assured him that I'd stand with anyone against the unwashed protariate (even if he had no talent whatsoever).
I'll keep everyone posted on both the Writers' Festival (and the Wind Breaking Championships that I'm actually being paid to attend) while I'm here.

Do you know how difficult it is to say "front the throng" even when you are grown up and do silent reading to yourself.

have a rip roaring time at the windbreaking championships.

I'm more concerned about the fact that I misread it as 'front the thong' and then had all sorts of unpleasant images.

And do you EVER stay at home, Robert? It seems your life is one big long holiday. You go away almost as much as the teachers at my sons school. Don't try claiming PD; it doesn't work for them and it won't work for you.

you're not the only one Kaz, and then the word "unwashed" leapt out at me too. Pass the marigolds.

Dateline: Brisbane, 15/9/06
Just because one isn't at home, or at work, or doing anything the slightest bit productive, doesn't mean one is on holiday, kaz!

I saw Jasper last night, at the Powerhouse Theatre in Brisbane, talking with some chap I've never heard of, about his books, focus pulling, etc. Quite an interesting yarn and a huge, appreciative audience. I noticed that he can only afford to drink water! We really must spread the word a bit.

At the end, he must have taken me for a thief, because I waited in line to say hello and no sooner had I got to the table than he had my copy of "The Fourth Bear" out of my hands and started writing his own name in it! I mean, the humiliation!

I grabbed it back and turned on my heel to go and he must have seen that he had made a mistake because he started waving a postcard at me, calling me back. I went and talked to R.L.Stine instead - whom I must say is a thoroughgoing gentleman.

I thought perhaps R.L. might also think that only thieves come along to these sorts of affairs, so to set his mind at rest I said, "Look Bob, let me first say that you must not think that I've got any of your books; moreover, I never will have." He gave me a huge, cheery smile and, despite an obvious pressing need to be elsewhere, backed away nodding. Now... there's a nice chap who appreciates his fans!

Tomorrow is the big day at Southbank for the attempt on the Guiness Book of Records record for the largest mass wind break. It's right next door to where the Writer's Festival has set up camp and (as liaison officer and reporter for the Murrumbidgee Wind Breaking Association) I've been trying - unsuccessfully as it has eventuated - to get some sort of combined effort in place. I would have thought that there was a potential symbiotic relationship available there... one group dependent on the availability of hot air and the other generating it in copious quantities (you can argue about which is which I suppose). But no - they look at me as if I'm mad when I suggest it.

Well, at least I'm not the only one who acts oddly at signings.

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Well, because it is submersed in a marine environment, I've always called it the Going-Under-The-Water-Safely-Device.

Yeah, but Robert acts oddly all the time, not just at signings.

You need some of those Ex Libris stickers in em, Robert.

btw, is RL Stine the goosebumps fella? Name sounds oddly familiar...

Thanks for the thought Kitten but I'd need Ex Pisces stickers - I'm not a Libris.
(and) Yes, that's the RL Stine fella; the 300 million copies of Goosebumps and assorted other books fella.

Apparently Jasper organised a croquet match for Saturday but it got rained out. Same thing with the attempt on the mass wind break record, unfortunately - there's nothing worse than a wind breaking session if it's a wet one, let me tell you!
The rain's good for Brisbane though, which is on level 4 water restrictions. This includes restrictions like watering gardens only with buckets or watering cans for (at most, obviously) three hours per day, three days a week. Hoses are banned.
The dams are at about 25% at the moment and when they get to 20% then level 5 restrictions come in. I don't know what they are but they'll probably be something like being allowed to flush toilets only at certain hours on alternate days of the week (and corresponding bans on anything even mildly laxative in nature).
Talking about liquids, I've observed in the past that drinkers of Resch's beer (a popular New South Wales brand) develop invariably haggard, tight skinned, ugly countenances with down turned mouths (I submitted an article to New Scientist on this back in 1997 but one of the mongrels probably stole it for his thesis and it didn't get printed).
Queenslanders, however, brought up on a diet of Castlemaine beer seem to have very rubbery faces - lunatic grins that stretch from ear to ear, wobbly cheek bones and skin like silly putty. Has anyone else noticed similar regional effects of different brands of ale? (I've observed, for instance, that Tasmanians have tight, round little heads like crab apples - could this be something in the tipple?)

Ah, and the shining, god-like visages of the good folk of victoria must have something to do with the Carlton Brewery. It all makes sense now.
Oh, and I know a plaice that cod do ex-pisces stickers for you- they'll even post them if it's urchin't

The next oportunity to find out about beer-related facial expressions might be the return of the Australian hockey team from the world cup in Germany. Well - if Moenchengladbach's Hannen Altbier will not make them grin, winning the championship should do the trick.

(If you are wondering what "Altbier" is - same with me. Most notable about it is that the glasses are so small that not even a hockey ball would fit inside. You drink about 20 of them in the course of an evening. Apparently it gets stale inside five minutes from pouring.)

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Design #3609494995:
It's a newly-discovered breed of fish that keeps your teeth clean, tastes delicious and dissolves in water.
generated with The Prior-Art-O-Matic

*Takes offense to Roberts remark on TAsmanians having crab apple heads. Goes off to sulk until she thinks of a suitable come-back*

<Consoles Kaz, and tries very hard not to laugh at the two tiny heads>

Now that PrinzHilde mentions Germans, I've noticed that they usually have a sort of surprised, open-eyed, suddenly startled, mouths-forming-a-little-'o', quizzical type look about them. The French, on the other hand, always have their eyebrows raised which, I believe, is directly attributable to all that wine tightening their forehead skin.

Which logically, would mean that it's the cider that gave my grandfather his Yorkshire brow. Not heridity.

Only if he also had a bulbous nose (notoriously acquired from cider, cf. Karl Malden and many other Americans). If Kitten's pappy also had a bulbous nose then both are attributable almost definitely to the cider.

I hadn't realised that cider was a popular drink in the U.S.A. It may be worth finding some on my next visit as I do not like their beer at all!

I prefer Normandie cider to most U.K. ciders and scrumpies, but that may be more due to surroundings where it was drunk. Actual memories of the taste are a little hazy.

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My computer beat me at chess, but I won at kickboxing

Cider? Ha! Aeppelwoi rules!

(I am born and raised in Hessen, where every brand of appel wine is considered haeretical - and not sour enough - if it is not brewed in the valleys around Main and Kinzig. Ideally it should be a "Speierling", which means fruits from the service tree are added to the pommage.)

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Design #3609494995:
It's a newly-discovered breed of fish that keeps your teeth clean, tastes delicious and dissolves in water.
generated with The Prior-Art-O-Matic

The Internet is strange. There I am, posting a short joke about an alcoholic beverage, which can be (somehow, in a Fforum-sort-of-way) tracked back to a comment kaz made about 'Tasmanians having crab apple heads', and more than a half year later, I get the following E-Mail:

Dear Claus,

I have been reading an old (1903) book on cider making -
[www.archive.org]

and came across the reference to Speierling Crabapple and how it was used
in Germany to boost tannin levels.
When I researched Speierling I found your posting to Phorum on this
subject.

Obviously Speierling is still used in the same way and I'm asking whether
you can give me any further information on this subject.

Thanks

****(Name hidden here)
Orange Agricultural Institute, NSW Dept of Primary Industries

That is what comes from going off-topic.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/14/2007 06:09PM by PrinzHilde.

Maybe the new south welsh have crab apple heads too...?

<ducks>



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/17/2007 01:54PM by Bonzai Kitten.