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[off-topic] This reminds me of what my AP European History teacher called the bald-hairy cycle. See, all Russian leaders starting with the last tsar alternated between being bald and hairy, and all the bald ones were into reform and progress while the hairy ones were into squashing people. It's true!
…a strange epidemic of itching powder in his trousers, which made sitting on his throne uncomfortable.
If I was that close to a horse's w*****, I'd be more worried about…
...relic of an out-moded feudal heirarchy that only cane to power because his ancestors lied, cheated, murdered and stole their way to the top of the heap.
But apparently he waved very nicely at his subjects and on special occasions made short and suitably forgettable speeches, so that's alright then.