There are no elephants in Kent. They are only found in Sussex, north of a line drawn between two points, thus making it the shortest distance.
That was the first one I ever heard actually. :)
Istead of triffids, maybe
this?
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'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland