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The Daily Toad: Proudly disseminating sensationalised rubbish since 1645. 2nd Mar 2008.

Roadrunner caught:
Acme shares in freefall

Wile E Coyote and rocket

Mr Coyote beta-tests the Acme MkIV Rocket sled

Heathrow airport

Just some of Acme's unique products

The share price of the Acme Manufacturing Corporation took a huge drop on the New York stock exchange yesterday when it was announced that Wile E. Coyote had finally caught the Roadrunner, and would no longer be purchasing their products.

Acme manufacturing, which has been supplying giant magnets, anvils, earthquake pills and assorted explosives to the famous miscreant for over six decades, employs three thousand workers and has a thirty-seven acre manufacturing facility in Deerborn, Michigan.

"Wile E. Coyote has been our leading purchaser for many years," explained Acme's CEO, a small cartoon pig named Mr. Oinkworthy, "and although we do supply on occasion to other cartoons, we see the capture of the Roadrunner as heralding a significant downturn in the Toon prop supply market."

Although Wall Street analysts are predicting Acme will be forced to file for bankrupcy without Wile E. Coyote's continued patronage, there might be several key defence market players eager to pay good money for Acme's expertise and technology. Lockheed Martin have expressed an interest in taking over the explosives arm of Acme, but conceded that Dehydrated Boulders and Jet Powered Roller Skates were probably 'outside their field of expertise.'

Mr Coyote, who has survived numerous falls from cliffs and suffered abject humiliation in his single-minded task to catch the road runner, is apparently taking a well-earned vacation in Miami and was 'unavailable for comment.'

Josh Hatchett, reporting for The Toad.


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