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The Daily Toad: Proudly disseminating sensationalised rubbish since 1645. Issue 31,400 8th May 2007.

Commerative plate industry sue Prince William


Two twenty-somethings suffering an excess of relevance.

Lawyers representing the commemorative plate industry last night brought suit against Prince William at the High Court, citing Kate Middleton as co-defendent, and demanding 'substantial damages' in light of the couple's recent and entirely un-newsworthy split.

"Our clients have suffered enough," said Mr Heap, solicitors for the 'ShabbyTatt' plate company, "and have invested hundreds of thousands of pounds into making certain that the public would not suffer the humiliation and shame of being unable to purchase commemorative plates. We feel that William and Kate owe it to the industry and the public to either give us lots of money or reverse their decision and announce their engagement."

Mr Windsor and Ms Middleton's solicitors had not yet responded to the suit, nor to the suggestion that the action would be dropped if whoever William finally decided to marry would change her name to Kate Middleton, so that some use could be made of the estimated seven million plates, saucers and cups currently languishing in warehouses across Britain.

Wendell Hatchett, reporting for The Toad.

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