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The Daily Toad: Proudly disseminating sensationalised rubbish since 1645. Issue 31,411 12th June 2007.

Factory chimney running for office admits to Smoking While at College


Some Chimneys before the Smoking Ban

Brick Tallperson, the factory chimney running as an independent for the 2008 US presidency, has admitted to journalists that he may have smoked while at college, but defended his actions as 'just something everybody else was doing'.

The large hollow structure, formerly a high-altitude vent for industrial waste products, was giving his first press conference when the admission slipped out during a robust questions and answers session on underage drinking. Tallperson went on to say that although he admitted smoking, he never inhaled, leaving that up to the intake ducts on the other side of the factory.

Asked where he stood on the budget deficit, Mr Tallperson replied: 'Upright, tall, awe-inspiring and able to discharge smoke well away from ground level." He paused for a moment before adding: "and I can see your house from here."

Wendell Hatchett, reporting for The Toad.

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