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The Daily Toad: Proudly disseminating sensationalised rubbish since 1645. 10th April 2012

All Welsh Tattoos to be
Bilingual by 2013

The bilingual steering group of the Welsh National Assembly implemented Part Four of the 'Welsh Language Biliigual policy Enactment' yesterday, by bringing legislation to cover other areas of the written language closer to fruition.

"We've already done roadsigns, and all other public signs," explained Tom Jones of the steering committee, "and this latest tranche of legislation will close the one loophole where publicly visible english is not displayed with the equivalent in Welsh."

The cost of implementation of this legislation could top 16M and take up to two years, as it is not known how many english-language tattoos adorn Welsh bodies, but it is considered to be high, and the introduction of an extraterritorially clause in the act means that even Welsh people not living in Wales will be subject to the same legislation, although it is unclear if English People living in Wales will require their tattoos to be changed also.

"I think it's about time too," said a Welshman yesterday, "and it might knock some sense into youth today who think it's right and proper to ignore the heritage that is brought to us by our fathers, and our father's fathers."

"I think it's a load of rubbish," said an equal and opposite Welshman yesterday, " and just goes to show to what extent the devolved government is wasting their time and our money on utterly pointless schemes."

Josh Ap Hatchett reporting for The Toad
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English into Welsh...

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.. and Welsh into English

Also in the News:

Insane Letter Confined to Padded Envelope

A Ludlow magistrate yesterday committed an insane letter to a padded envelope yesterday, in order to 'protect itself, and others, from harm'. The newly written letter, a highly bizarre diatribe to Ludlow Town councillors that ranged from planning applications to global warming to alien abduction, first came to light in the Council's postbag on Monday, and was immediately arrested for 'making threatening comments to a public servant'. The letter was then examined by a psychiatrist and deemed 'insane' before being committed to the padded envelope.

Scientists 'puzzled' that
mankind managed to survive 1970's

Scientists were yesterday at a loss to explain how mankind managed to perpetuate the species beyond the seventies, it was revealed yesterday. "We have made an in-depth study of British mating rituals of the period 1971 to 1979. The fashions, the cars, the dances. We have come to the conclusion that working under such restrictions, the 70's British male would have found it impossible to find a mate, so the question of why we are here now seems almost impossible."

Flip Flop Flip-Flops

A simple shoe yesterday was accused of changing its mind over foreign policy and fiscal spending yesterday, as the third round of the Shoe Presidency campaign continues. The accusation was made by Presidential hopeful Arthur Brogue, whose lead has recently been eroded by the surprise onomatopoeic beachwear's performance in the polls. The Flipflopping flip-flop dismissed the accusation as a 'negative attack ad' by the Brogue campaign team, and pressed ahead with their populist campaign to cleanse the shoe nation of the smelly immigrant sock underclass.

Wikimedia Commons picture credits: Arm: EncycloPetey. Dragon: Eugenio Hansen

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