Re: Shameless appeal to the masses
Posted by:
Jon (---.abel.net.uk)
Date: November 21, 2002 01:16PM
<HTML>Fictional Big Brother – Latest Update from the House
Well, it’s been an exciting chapter here. Hercules has complained about always having to do the daily task, and he really threw a strop when he was sent to the stables! Meanwhile several contestants have been shamelessly trying to manipulate the others to ensure their survival, but it backfired on Becky Sharpe, when she was sensationally ejected from the House for consistent cheating. She left without another word to anyone, but we understand her next engagement may be at some sort of fair.
Other news; Oliver Twist has been asking for more again, and not getting it, while Shylock tried to cut a deal with Mr. Darcy over the washing-up, but was turned down as Darcy felt his price was a little high. Shylock was later heard to accuse Darcy of being both proud and prejudiced. Dorothea Brooke has been doing good works for many of the contestants, but her efforts seem to have gone unnoticed. The Wizard of Earthsea has made himself unpopular by refusing to tell anyone his name, while our other wizards have all been in trouble; Gandalf was told off for smoking inside the house, and Merlin has had his owl confiscated.
Latest evictee Lucy Snowe was asked about her future plans, but refused to reveal her next move, saying only that it was ‘open-ended’, while Professor Lidenbrock is apparently seeking an opening in geology.
Don Juan and Casanova came to blows over who would enjoy the favours of Queen Christina, but she was heard to say that she would rather be alone, and anyway they were ‘wasting their time’. The two later made it up, and spent the afternoon watching the Thursday Next Workout video. Captain Ahab has been at the fishpond all day, Captain Nemo has been hogging the bath, and Captain Haddock has been listening to the Thompson Twins on his Walkman. Jack Aubrey and Horatio Hornblower have been up to something in the rigging, and Marvin the Paranoid Android has been depressing his Nintendo. Meanwhile nobody’s sure what Cardenio’s been up to.
News of the animals now, and it has become clear that it was a mistake to put the Flopsy Bunnies in where the wild things were. The cat in the hat has been stalking the three blind mice, and Shere Khan has tried to eat the Wombles. Great Uncle Bulgaria later said that if they didn’t get more support from the other housemates they might have to move to Milton Keynes.
Finally, news of the ongoing romance between Harry Flashman and Lady Bracknell. We’re not sure quite what happened, but we think handbags may have been involved.
That’s the way it is in Fictional Big Brother. Stay tuned!</HTML>