One the few things this site lacks, other than online banking, the ability to purchase prime lots on the seafront of the sea of tranquility, opportunity to sponsor your own endangered boulder - complete with certificate and picture - is a penpal facility. Maybe folks aren't interested is all but here goes.

25 year old fella who goes by the name James. Hobbies include reading, writing, listening to music, watching movies and drinking anything that looks remotely like Guinness.

Replies to the following email address. Replies especially welcome from single females.

turtles_all_the_way_down@yahoo.co.uk

(Advert placed in a desperate attempt to get something in email box other than some firm advertising scpetic tank cleansing services and how to look after your sceptic tank)



A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

You have a sceptic tank? Cool :o)

I don't do penpally things because I'm *terrible* at replying to things - I'd write to you once, you'd reply, I'd never write back, you'd think I hated you...It would all go horribly wrong. Trust me.



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Do something pretty while you can...

I would take you up on the offer (I love e-pals :) ), but I lose my email/internet access in 2 weeks, and I don't know if/when I'll get it back again :(



I drink to drown my sorrows. Unfortunately they've learnt how to swim.

I like the idea of a sceptic tank. Does the Fforum count ?? It's full of sceptics that's for sure...

Jo: Get your husband to be to sort it out. Make it a condition of marriage...
Also, have you got your results yet ? I hope it goes well. Ours are out today. Lots more BEngs and Mengs about.

Ah - it's a condition of John& me living together - but only when we can both afford it! (will have to see if the govt will be nice enough to allow me to surf the net from my nice new office...)
Not got results yet - they're out two weeks today (eeek!) The exams aren't yet over for some poor folks...



I drink to drown my sorrows. Unfortunately they've learnt how to swim.

That' s quite late. At Leeds all exams finished by Fri 6th. We've been frantically marking and, 'ta-da', results today.

What time did your's start? We didn't start our exams till the 26 May. Mine were all over by the 7th June, but I had really early modules.



I drink to drown my sorrows. Unfortunately they've learnt how to swim.

19th May.

Our teaching was weird this year. We had 9 weeks before Easter and only two after (we normally have 8 - 3). Hence I had to rejig some stuff so it all ran smoothly. Very hectic marking for our third year projects. I had 14 to assess each with a 45 min viva. I had one week to fit in all in around my computing module which has 4 sessions (due to the number of machine we have) each 3 hours and then I had all the computer programmes to mark...

Now I can finally get back to some research. Keep the boss happy !

Wow! That sounds completely hectic! I'm glad I'm just a lowly undergraduate :) (For 2 more weeks anyway...)



I drink to drown my sorrows. Unfortunately they've learnt how to swim.

Good interview with Terry Pratchett, Jo! Well Done!

Pthrrt. I can't see it...apparently I'm failing to download an appropriate decompressor. Probably the security setting won't let me...I'll try it at home.



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Do something pretty while you can...

'Sceptic Tank' - is that a Challenger II full of squaddies going 'Tony was lying about them WMD, you know...'



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

Cheers :) I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Dante - it may please you to know that I can't see it on this computer either (I get sound but not pictures). Wmvs are really annoying!



I drink to drown my sorrows. Unfortunately they've learnt how to swim.

Talking of pen pals does anyone fancy befriend a pen friend?

Free the Biro Campaign

How many biros on your desk?

In most offices, about 10 biros per person! They are everywhere, always on hand, never belonging to anyone and seemingly never running out.

Made of tough, durable plastic and designed to have a relatively long life, they can be refilled, but are made to be thrown away, and are so @#$%& few people think twice about them.

If the pens on your desk don't amount to much on their own, consider this 15 million biros are sold worldwide each year. Sadly not all of these biros lead a naturally free life; many are sold into a life of slavery in institutions such as banks, building society’s, lending institutions, health professions and both local and central government offices.

If you doubt this claim then next time you go into your local bank, building society, council or government office look around you and you will see biros chained to desks forced to lead a life of enforced labour fro every day of their lives.

Each of these biros, given the chance to lead a normal and natural life, could draw a line about 3 km long.

That is why Free the Biro is dedicated to promoting a biro-friendly and compassionate world and is at the helm of a new campaign to try and free as many captive biros as possible.

We can only do this with your help and assistance so please pledge as much money as you can spare to the following email address: save_the_biro_campaign@yahoo.co.uk. Even a few pence can help save a biro from a life of slavery.



A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

I will say that many of the pens from my desk and lab bench appear to have great freedom of movement, and are frequently walking off with other people, never to be seen again (at least by me).

my pens live a happy communal life in the cup next to my computer where they are kept warm and loved and never chewed upon. My husband isn't allowed to use them because he tends to chew on them.

My pens live in a very integrated neighborhood along with sharpies, wooden pencils and mechanical pencils of all colors and shapes. And to diversify even more, a pair of Oriental scissors, 2 screwdrivers and a double ended computer screwdriver make that cup their home. And to really mix things up, a pair of cat claw clippers have recently taken up residence next to the letter opener that lives near the highlighter pen.

And when one pen goes on vacation to the top of my keyboard, the others make sure the newspaper and the mail are brought in. How very kind of them!

Rob, is that a Vauxhall Viva?

I only have one pen on my desk (actually in my mouth at the moment, I'll never be allowed near AAC's collection), I do have another in my laptop bag though and I think 2 on my desk at home.

Been recently asked about sponsoring endangered boulders. Please find following a letter from the Federation for Endangered and generally Lonely or Abandoned Stones, Rocks, Blocks and Boulders


Dear Kind Sir:

The Federation for Endangeed and generally Lonely and Abandoned Stones, Rocks, Blocks and Boulders (The Federation) would like to congratulate you on your recent adoption of a Class A, Division III Genuine Granite Rock. There are so many rocks in this world, igneous, metamorphic, and sedimentary alike, which have been sorely neglected or downright abused, that the Federation relies heavily on private pledges such as yours merely to keep these little minerals around. Erosion, explosions, radiation, acid rain, lichens, demands for fine sand, all have taken a toll on this planet's Limited Stone Population. Gone are the days when things could be "set in stone" without worry of retraction; when an impregnable penitentiary could accurately be called "The Rock." This precious resource is swiftly fading, and without the support of caring citizens such as yourself, our experts have estimated that the Earth would need to begin importing moon rocks within the NEXT TWENTY YEARS!!!

Your Rock Adoption of a Class A, Division III Genuine Granite Rock, Simon, is well appreciated by both Simon rock and all of his or her relatives, who until very recently have been worried about the disastrous presence of flint in Simon's inner layers. Thanks to your support, Simon will soon be undergoing purification to return him to a proper, pure granite state. Once again, The Federation would like to thank you for agreeing to the adoption of your very own rock. Few people will ever know the difference which you have truly made, but in your infinite kindness and caring, we ask that you spread the word of the Federation to your family, friends and acquaintances. Only by sharing the task of caring will humanity ever succeed in preserving this Earth's Limited Stone Population.

Sincerely,



Arthur Ton
The Federation for Lonely and Abandoned Stones, Rocks and Blocks The sad story of a mouse called Mark



A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

I had some pet stones when I was about 8. I didn't get them from shops though, they were feral stones from the garden. They lived happily in an old hamster cage in the garage for a few months, before being set free again. Mine showed no signs of breeding, while in captivity, but I don't know what the gestation period of a garden stone is. My stones may have been blessed with a litter of gravel sometime later.

It has been noted before on these pages that pet masonry can learn certain tricks and commands, such as 'stay', 'sit' etc. Owners of stones may wish to be informed that no mater how well they can teach their pet to 'roll over' they will refuse to gather any moss.

Talking of pets, has anybody been watching the Terry and Gabby show on Five? It really is rather good. They're currently testing a pundit vs a primate, by getting John McCririck and a monkey to choose horses at Royal Ascot. The mopnkey however prefers to choose mystery guests, strawberries and other assorted objects.

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Note for bemused foreigners. John McCririck is one of horse racing's less explainable features. And when you see some of the weirdness that goes on in the Rotal Enclosure, this is no mean feat. He wears mad hats, has mad hair beneath it and a permanent expression of a yokel who knows his combine harvester was round here a moment ago, just before he drank all the scrumpy (the original suicider). A picture may be found here:

www.uri-geller.com/gallery/ pics/v35.jpg



PSD

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This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.