Re: Pen Pals?!
Posted by:
Pilkijam (---.gsi.gov.uk)
Date: June 18, 2003 04:40PM
Been recently asked about sponsoring endangered boulders. Please find following a letter from the Federation for Endangered and generally Lonely or Abandoned Stones, Rocks, Blocks and Boulders
Dear Kind Sir:
The Federation for Endangeed and generally Lonely and Abandoned Stones, Rocks, Blocks and Boulders (The Federation) would like to congratulate you on your recent adoption of a Class A, Division III Genuine Granite Rock. There are so many rocks in this world, igneous, metamorphic, and sedimentary alike, which have been sorely neglected or downright abused, that the Federation relies heavily on private pledges such as yours merely to keep these little minerals around. Erosion, explosions, radiation, acid rain, lichens, demands for fine sand, all have taken a toll on this planet's Limited Stone Population. Gone are the days when things could be "set in stone" without worry of retraction; when an impregnable penitentiary could accurately be called "The Rock." This precious resource is swiftly fading, and without the support of caring citizens such as yourself, our experts have estimated that the Earth would need to begin importing moon rocks within the NEXT TWENTY YEARS!!!
Your Rock Adoption of a Class A, Division III Genuine Granite Rock, Simon, is well appreciated by both Simon rock and all of his or her relatives, who until very recently have been worried about the disastrous presence of flint in Simon's inner layers. Thanks to your support, Simon will soon be undergoing purification to return him to a proper, pure granite state. Once again, The Federation would like to thank you for agreeing to the adoption of your very own rock. Few people will ever know the difference which you have truly made, but in your infinite kindness and caring, we ask that you spread the word of the Federation to your family, friends and acquaintances. Only by sharing the task of caring will humanity ever succeed in preserving this Earth's Limited Stone Population.
Sincerely,
Arthur Ton
The Federation for Lonely and Abandoned Stones, Rocks and Blocks The sad story of a mouse called Mark
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.