Very surprised to see theres no thread about this would have thought there'd be an immense amount of appeal and not more than a few entries from the fforum!

[www.sjsu.edu]

With the there will always be a game thread now topping 15 pages and the complete food mangling of Shakespeare, we should be able to produce a winning entry out of the madness!

It certainly looks interesting. And as we have a little time before this year's compy, it is very tempting.......

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My computer beat me at chess, but I won at kickboxing

I heard about this a few months ago (when I was idly googling the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night") and have thought about entering, but I haven't come up with anything really inspired yet.

Also feeling uninspired.... Will see though.

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'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

OK. There's something spooky here. I googled 'memorable opening lines' for inspiration, and what do I find first on the list? This: [blog.blankbaby.com]

Quote:

"My father had a face that could stop a clock. I don't mean that he was ugly or anything; it was a phrase the ChronoGuard used to describe someone who had the power to reduce time to an ultraslow trickle." - Jasper Fforde, The Eyre Affair

Rob, slightly worried.

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That statement is either so deep it would take a lifetime to fully comprehend every particle of its meaning, or it is a load of absolute tosh. Which is it, I wonder?
Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

Well, it is a memorable opening line. What's so spooky about that? (Maybe Jasper ought to enter the contest…)

Except that JFf is an example of good writing - the opposite of what that particular contest is looking for!

(I don't think this is the first time Bulwer-Lytton has appeared on the Fforum...)

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Metaphors be with you!

Yes, but it takes a very good writer to do bad writing well!

"
<think, think, think, think>
Damn.
"

If you squint, it looks like a compliment...

Right you are Puck, researched, and this time remembered to search all dates rather than the last 30 days, silly me.

As little Sadie, her malformed arm flapping in the wind, the tuft of hair which was her most prized earthly possession shining proudly in the midmorning sun, climbed out of her cardboard box to snatch with her slightly less malformed arm at a passing wad of cardboard (which would be brunch), a figure caught her remaining eye in the elegantly gilt-framed window of the exclusive upper-class fashion modeling & classical piano academy across the street.



Edited 8 time(s). Last edit at 02/13/2007 05:02AM by DisturbinglyAvidFfordeWorshipper.

Hee hee, I like it! You should enter it!

I think the 'lump of sewage' is a bit over the top, though. Perhaps changing for something along the lines of 'the body of a floating rat'? The original is just a bit too icky, not to mention too close to home, what with all the talk of recycled water here these days.

As you see, the editing process marches bravely on. Kaz, in accordance with your sage advice, I have miraculously converted Sadie's sewage to cardboard. Less shockitudinous, yes?

But also less nutritious.

What are you talking about? Cardboard has all that fiber--it's like eating bran flakes!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/06/2007 02:23AM by MuseSusan.

And there is nothing wrong with recycled water. Tastes a hell of a lot better than ordinary water, and it's a lot purer than anything out of the taps.

End greenie rant.

If Ankh-Morpork is anything to go by, that's true. Anything passed through that many kidneys must be pure....

__________________________________
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

And anything you could possibly find is purer than what comes out of the river.