You'd be amazed how many times you can hit a cane toad before it notices.
Or even run over them with a car... just suck their guts back in and keep jumping.


I swear it's true. I've seen it.

Many millions of years ago I was associated with people at CSIRO who were responsible for bringing in the dung beetles.

One of these little lovelies looked like a miniature triceratops and was as hardy. Since the dung beetle experiment has had a minor effect on the fly problems in the outback these little buggers (can use the Australian colloquialism legitimately here) have been found in the range of the cane toad. Apparently the cane toads eat them, as they do everything else smaller than a merino, but the mini-me triceratops just eat their way out of the stomach wall and keep on groovin'. Effect on cane toad is to puncture their equilibrium and ego with collapse of id and intestines.

Triceratops 1: cane toad zero

(To save Googling, which may make you go blind, cane toad come from Hawaii and were imported into Australia in an attempt to control pests in Queensland sugar cane fields. No great effect was noticed, but the cane toads liked the climate so much,and having no predators, spread across the land. If we don't find a way of stopping them soon we will be up to our curly bits in cane toads.

I believe that CSIRO is secretly developing a genetically mutated cane toad beserker which will be white in colour and have inbuilt white supremacist tendencies. These will be released at selected spots across the northern parts of Ostraylya to do battle with the invader. A series of publicity movies is being made, including Toad Wars, the Toad Supremacy, and The Toads of Wrath. A camp version of 'Priscilla Toad of the Desert' has been deferred.

As an aside, the dogs of Queensland have found that if they grab a cane toad in their mouths and gently squeeze then the toad eject a fluid that is mildly psychotropic and the dogs get a mild to severe high from the fluid. That all Australia needs now is dogs from Queensland out of their heads. Why, they soon be acting like humans.

Really? Fascinating.

"...secretly developing a genetically mutated cane toad beserker..."

Already happened. It founded the One Nation party.

I didn't know Ms Hansen was really a cane toad in diguise?!

What disguise?

You will have the RSPCA on to you for slandering cane toads.

They must have a place in the darwinian ecosystem and will eventually develop some predators, such as the carp in the River Murray where the native fish have learned that carp spawn is a good food.

We need a calici virus/myxamatosis type for politicians.

The late Cyril Pearl wrote in one of his books (quoting from memory): Australia has 309 million sheep, 903 million rabbits, and 903 million politicians. Every so a politician eats a rabbit, but as yet, no rabbits have been known to eat a politician. ( The politician may have been public servants, but the principle is the same, and these days we have nearly 903 million ex Federal politicians alive so truth may have extended to reach fiction.)

Puts ad in the Age for "the rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail WANTED" for pestpoli control.

Thank you.

I like the term 'pestpoli'. I think it will become useful in the next few months .

Don't you love typos!

<Sics the pestpolis on the cane toads>

Cane toads eat pestpoli, chew for a while, spits out pestpoli and decides pair of rubber boots has more mnourishment, looks better, and tastes almost as good as licorice.

Exits cane left.