This from Jon Brierley who describes it as a cross between a Stanley Holloway monologue and an old music-hall number called 'Daddy wouldn't buy me a Bow-wow').. Posted: 14th Jan 2003

This Christmas-time I asked my Dad
If we could have a pet
And he said that he thought we might
And what sort should we get?

So we went down to Pete & Dave's
To see what we could buy;
There were mastodons, and thylacines,
But one thing caught my eye

The cutest bird you ever saw
It stood there saying "Plock!"
I fell in love with it at once
I could have bought a flock.

But Pa was dead against it.
"It's not a thing for me
It doesn't fetch, or do smart tricks
It's boring, don't you see?"

And though I cried, and carried on
And made a mighty fuss
He remained unmoved, and so
We came home on the bus.

And Christmas now is spoilt for me
My gifts give me no joy
For there is nothing I have got
Makes me a happy boy

Because (sings)

Daddy wouldn't buy me a dodo!
Daddy wouldn't buy me a dodo!
I've a sabre-toothed cat
And I'm very fond of that,
But I'd rather have a do-do-do!