FAQ Page

Welcome to my Frequently Asked Questions page, something I have been wanting to do for a while. If your answer is not here, then please have a look at my INDEX and then the Fforde Questionarium which has more answers than you can shake a stick at.

      What books have you written?

In publishing order: The Eyre Affair (2001) Lost in a Good Book (2002) The Well of Lost Plots (2003) Something Rotten (2004) The Big Over Easy (2005) The Fourth Bear (2006) First Among Sequels (2007) Shades of Grey (2010).

      What sort of books are they?

Good question. An odd mix of Fantasy, Crime and Sci-fi. There's romance, too, and literary stuff, and satire, and .. well, you name it.

      When is your next tour?

All details of my tours and apperances are up on my Appearances page. As soon as anything is confirmed, it goes up here. If it's not here, it's unconfirmed.

      My hometown isn't on your tour list. Is there any point in me
      emailing you and asking you to drop in?

No. If you want to know why I'm not turning up at your local bookshop during my next tour, this is how it works: The bookshops make applications to Penguin or Hodder and the noisiest or most enthusiastic shops get me to come to their stores. so..... the more noise the customers make to their managers, the more likely I am to turn up on a future tour. The best people to email are your local bookstores, but if my tour is already up, it's too late - or at least, it is for this year.

      I'm coming to one of your talks. Are there any rules about       signing?

Time permitting, I'll pretty much sign anything. If you have a skipload (US: Dumpsterload) of backlist, then use your sense of fair play and politeness as to what you think is appropriate. Disturbing development: Some people are beginning to think the postcards are a right, not a gift. They are subject to availability and are generally only given out with each current book. Bookstamps likewise, and are only for dedicated copies. Note to dealers/non-reading collectors: I won't do 'lines' in books, or uppercase, or full name, and sending along several members of your family with a small quantity of books to disguise the true amount doesn't really fool anyone and makes you look cheap - I'll sign them all in one hit very happily.

      What is your current book?

Shades of Grey. The new book is out in January 2010, and will feature a bizarre dystopian view of the future that mixes Stalinism, British Public School, Linoleum factories and limited Colour vision. "But don't worry," said Fforde at his rambling seventeen-bedroom Welsh Mansionette yesterday, "it will still be pretty silly." ..."

      Oh, Boo! Is there going to be another Thursday Book?

Yes, indeedy. It will be called One of Our Thursdays is Missing . and willl be published in the Spring of 2011. From my press release:

".... Continuing the story after "First Among Sequels" left off, Jurisfiction has serious problems: With a Serial Killer on the loose, Speedy Muffler declaring all-out Genre war and aggressive book-pulpers threatening to turn entire libraries into MDF self-assembly furniture, only ace book-jumper Thursday Next can save the day. But where the hell is she? Last seen investigating the theoretical Dark Reading Matter, the place - where it is conjectured - erased and forgotten books end up, Thursday is nowhere to be found. With time running out, Jurisfiction decides that you need a Thursday to find a Thursday, so they persuade Thursday5, comfortably getting to grips with the hastily rewritten TN series, to look for the real Thursday in the one region she fears more than anything else - A place of chaos, unpredictability and unresolved plot lines: The Real World...."

      And what about another Jack Spratt adventure?

The third and final installment in the NCD series with be The Last Great Tortoise Race, which will pit Jack and Mary against a wronged Pied Piper, a series of exploding nuns, an art-theiving gorilla and all to the backdrop of Readings annual Tortoise V Hare road race. Will the Hare's sponsors play fair this time, or will notorious gangster Easter Bunny use more 'persuasive' tactics to ensure the tortoise once again wins the day? To be published either in 2011 or 2012, depending on the publisher's schedule.

      Will we find out what happens to Brunswick and deMauve?

Most certainly. Likely dates for Shades of Grey II : Painting by Numbers will be 2012.

      Do you give motivational talks/after-dinner speaking engagements?

No.

      Do you come and give talks at colleges/librarys/universities?

Generally, yes. I like to say 'yes' to everything anyway, and feel that talking about writing and being published to potential scribblers is definitely something I want to continue to do. But a few incidents over the past five years have made me want to impose a few conditions.

Firstly, I need to have my travelling expenses paid. I visited a university a year ago to give a talk and it was assumed that I, as a wealthy and successful author (ho ho), should reach into my own pocket to get there. I don't charge for appearances to educational establishments, but I won't pay to attend.

You should have a reasonable quantity of people if you are further than an hour or so drive away. Local venues are no problem - I'll speak to three people and a cat, if everyone is polite and there's a chocolate hobnob in the offing - but travelling across the country to find two very enthusiastic people and six to eight others who don't know what they are doing there is arguably not worth the loss of writing time. Always consider that an hour's talk two hour's drive away is actually six hours of my time - or half a day's writing, something I desperately need if I am to continue to knock out a book a year.

If you ask, please want me to come. This year I found myself talking to a bored and disinterested group because their organiser had not suspected for one moment that I would say 'yes' to an invitation, and then she couldn't back out and it was faintly embarrassing for all concerned.

      Do you give talks at Festivals?

Frequently. If you are a festival, find your way to my contacts page. If you want to know where I'm talking, have a look at appearances page.

      Will we see a new Jasper Fforde book published every year?

Up until 2008 the answer was 'yes'. I had a baby this year and a new book, so things got behind. Sorry. We'll carry on the 'book a year' gag from 2010.

      I am a sticler for good prooofreading and/or grammatical and speling errrors. Can I send you a list of the errors I found in your books?

Of course - but please have a look at my upgrade page to see if it/they are already listed. Suggestions for new upgrades are always welcome.

      Can I buy books from you?

Indeed you can, but only paperbacks. Hardbacks I leave to the bookshops who have to make some money, after all. A full list of what is on offer can be found at the Goliath Merchandising site, which you can reach by clicking HERE

      How can I get books signed by you if I can't make it to an event?

You can either buy them from my website or if you already have them, send them to me with RETURN POSTAGE and I will sign and return it/them. The address is: Jasper Fforde, PO Box 165, Hay on Wye, HR3 5WU, United Kingdom.

      Is it true you read Tess backwards so it has a happy ending?

Completely true. I always read Thomas Hardy books backwards.

      How do you pronounce 'Zvlkx'?

The correct pronunciation for "Zvlkx" is "Zvoulks". There. You heard it here first.

      What are your thoughts on Fan Fiction and people making Thursday Next RPG's on the internet?

My thoughts on Fan Fiction are pretty much this: That it seems strange to want to copy or 'augment' someone else's work when you could expend just as much energy and have a lot more fun making up your own. I feel, and I think with good reason, very proprietorial about Thursday and all her escapades; clearly I can't stop you writing and playing what you want in private, and am very flattered that you wish to do so. But anything published in any form whatsoever - and that specifically includes the internet - I cannot encourage, nor approve of.

(I've already had one person complain that I had 'stolen' one of their ideas from a Thursday Next fanfiction site I knew nothing about!)

      Why is Thursday called Thursday?

You can find out by leaping to my "Questionarium" by clicking HERE

      Who won the World Cup in 1972?

Trick question. There was no world cup in 1972.

      My book has no chapter 13. Why is this?

None of my books have a chapter 13. I'm not sure why this might be so but suffice to say that since I write most of my books 'on the hoof' but also want an 'interconnectiveness' about them (two things that would seem at first sight to be mutually incompatible) I tend to leave blind or 'partially sighted' alleys for myself to exploit later - or not. You know when you see an asphalted road leading into a field? Well, you just know there will be a housing estate there - they just haven't built it yet. That's what the chapter 13 thing is.

      Can I buy Thursday Next Merchandising anywhere?

Yes you can. There is a whole host of interesting goodies to be found at Goliath Merchandising. Just in case you think I am cynically thrusting my snout deep in the trough of merchandising, I use the proceeds to offset the costs of this website and all those postcard freebie things I do that are independent of my publishers. I apologise to US readers about the high cost of the T shirts but all I can say is that the pound is strong at present and no, we have no plans to open a US merchandising arm of Goliath.

      Can I buy those postcard giveaway thingies from you?

No. For more details about the postcards, click HERE.

      Have you ever had occasion to dress up as Little Bo Peep?

Absolutely not.

      If we had a photograph of you dressed as Little Bo Peep and several eye witness depositions, plus shaky footage on YouTube, would your answer still be no?

...I did it for a bet. Honestly.

      I am a producer of international renown with a string of highly profitable hits. I want to make the TN escapades into a blockbuster series of movies. Have you sold the rights yet?

No, and I don't intend to. This is the short answer: "If I don't direct them, they don't get made." I spent nearly 20 years in the movies so know a little bit about them, and I'm not having my work made into a cinematic farrago of the highest order by someone else. That's my job. Put another way: "I'd rather they weren't made than made wrong" or from a purely selfish perspective: "I wouldn't make them for the money, I'd make them for the fun - and if I can't have any fun I'm going home and taking my football with me." Any production would be a Fforde Ffilms co-production with FfFf retaining the sequel and continuing character rights. Serious enquiries through my film rights agent, and if you can't find out who they are without asking me, you're not serious.

      I am a producer without a single credit to my name, and no track record. Can we meet and talk about producing your films, and perhaps do that utterly pointless 'who would you cast as Thursday Next' game?

No.

      At the end of Star Wars, both Han Solo and Luke Skywalker get a medal. Why didn't Chewbacca get one?

Princess Leia is very short and they didn't want to embarrass her by bringing on a stepladder.

      Who was the best Batman?

Adam West. Not, as previously thought, Michael Keaton. My thanks to Mr Wolf for bringing this to my attention.

You can find many more questions and answers at the Fforde Questionarium; there are many threads on the Forum which might help, too.