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The Daily Toad: Proudly disseminating sensationalised rubbish since 1645. 22nd Dec 2011.

Recording Industry in turmoil as
British author downgrades
Everclear track on iTunes

Toad News Photograph

Leaked evidence of Ffordes mendacity

The members of Portland rock band Everclear were last night considering legal action on a British author who yesterday evening decided, unilaterally and without consultation or fair warning, to downgrade their single AM Radio from five stars to four on his iTunes 'Favourites' playlist.

"Initially, I loved it," said Mr Fforde, speaking through his attorney yesterday, "but I tend to run my iTunes on 'constant shuffle' when I'm working, and after 157 playings, I found myself clicking 'forward' when AM Radio came up. I reluctantly decided that if I was doing that, it was time to downgrade it a single star to four stars. It's a terrific track, but not super-duper. I'm sorry, but there it is."

Everclear's frontman Mr Alexakis was quick to point out that The Hustle by Van McCoy and Sadeness (Part 1) by enigma had both been listened to more times than A M Radio on Fforde's playlist, and they had both retained their five star status. "Such an inconsistent policy of musical grading shows that Mr Fforde is a man not to be trusted with our music or anyone else's. We will not rest, nor leave a single stone unturned, until the highest powers in this land have restored the five stars to which we are entitled. We're getting on a plane now."

Mr Fforde's bizarre music tastes has led him into controversy before. A similar incident made the news four years ago when Spanish Stroll by Mink Deville was awarded the prestigious five stars within minutes of being downloaded, an act that enraged the Doobie Brothers, whose signature tune What a fool believes had been on Fforde's Favourites playlist for five years, but still never risen beyond three stars.

Josh Hatchett, reporting for The Toad.

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