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The Daily Toad: Proudly disseminating sensationalised rubbish since 1645. Issue 31,467 4th July 2007.

Naked Sooty pictures
embarrass TV star

Sooty naked

A picture of Sooty, apparently naked, dancing on a table

sooty sweep

The entertainment duo known to millions

Legions of Sooty fans were yesterday shocked and dismayed to learn that naked photographs of the iconic star of TV and Radio had been published in a Sunday newspaper.

The pictures, which show a disrobed Sooty apparently dancing on a tabletop in a West End bar, have been authenticated by experts but the star's position was one of denial. 'Mr Sooty beleives these shots to be fakes,' said Clax Mifford, the popular TV star's PR agent this morning, 'and our lawyers are looking into it right now.'

Cynics point out that the compromsing shots of the actor and performer were published only a week after it was revealed that Sooty had split from co-star Sweep over an argument regarding profit-sharing from their numerous TV apperances, but a spokesman for the reclusive Sweep denied that the puppet dog with the trademark squeaky voice had leaked the snaps to the newspapers.

This latest episode is only one in a long trail of mishaps for the popular entertainer and his group of co-stars, that seemed to have begun with the death of their much-loved first manager/co-presenter, Mr Corbett. Only last October Soo was temporarily dropped from the show when it was revealed that she and her partner Diane had posed naked for a series of origami self-help books.

Wendell Hatchett, reporting for The Toad.

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