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Upgrading "One of Our Thursdays is Missing" US Editions
To upgrade please follow instructions below:
As is customary with early book releases, there are a few bugs that made it through the rigorous testing procedures for which Fforde books have not become legendary. The following instructions allow you to update your edition to an all new TN6/V1.2.
I am indebted to the disturbingly high levels of pedantry exhibited by my USA Upgrade Monitors this year, in particular: Virginia Downes, Roger Pavelle and Katherine Lee. My grateful thanks to all of you.
1: Editions covered by this upgrade: All Penguin hardback and Readers club softback editions. ON NO ACCOUNT attempt to upgrade any Galleys or UK editions; a 'deep text crash' may result which will render your book unreadable and may well wipe out all the planet's fiction.
2: Earth the book by touching it lightly against a dictionary.
3: If you are running your library on the outdated SCROLL V7.3 or PAPYRUS 2.8, please upgrade immediately to BOOK 8.3 which is available by downloading HERE .
4: If you are running the Beta Version of BOOK V9 or "UltraWord™" as it is known and have Anti-GrammasitePro™ or ReadZip™ activated, please disable before upgrade. Third party hardware ancillaries such as bookmarks, pressed flowers, old bus tickets, prophylactics, etc, must also be removed.
5: Using a fine black pen make the following corrections:
1/ Turn to page ix and right next to chapter 3, change "Scarlett O'Kipper" to "Carmine O'Kipper" . As many of you figured, Scarlett was Carmine's original name, and the changeover wasn't as resolutely pursued as I had hoped in the US editions.
2/ Turn to page 17 and where it says: "the inference being that it was somehow my fault the reader" change "inference" to "implication" .
3/ Turn to page 22 and where it says: "Nine teas heaven minutes' read time away." remove apostrophe so it reads "Nine teas heaven minutes read time away" .
4/ Turn to page 27 and change the chapter heading from: "Scarlett O'Kipper" to "Carmine O'Kipper" .
5/ Turn to page 50 and where it says: "It has been long proved that everyone needs a butler" change to read "It has long been proven that everyone needs a butler" .
6/ Turn to page 103 and where it says: "By the way," said Acheron, "I think Lettie is the best understudy yet." change "Lettie" to "Carmy" . Carmine/Scarlett issues.
7/ Turn to page 62 and where it says: "without warning over a few years ago as it passed over Human Drama" change "years" to "months" to correct time continuity.
8/ Turn to page 62 and where it says: "Of the twenty-six thousand characters lost in the disaster, only five survived" change to read: "Of the twenty-six thousand characters involved in the disaster, only five survived" to fix logical flaw. 9/ Turn to page 88 and where it says: "but since automatons are incapable of misstatements" change "automatons" to "automata" .
10/ Turn to page 92 (chapter heading) and where it says: "average borders that reflect reading trends of the past ten years" change to read: "average borders that reflect recent reading trends.." This is only the 3rd edition of Bradshaw's and the remade Bookworld is only six months old.
11/ Turn to page 105 and where it says: "I found Scarlett in the kitchen" change to "I found Carmine in the kitchen" .
12/ Turn to page 174 and where it says: "meaning and illusion" change to "meaning and allusion" .
13/ Turn to page 177 and where it says: "pulled opened the door" change "pulled open the door" .
14/ Turn to page 184 and where it says: "name I recognized, or course" change to "name I recognized, of course" .
15/ Turn to page 202 and where it says: "I took a large bite and even though it had some paste inside that was almost indescribably nasty" change "paste inside" to "yellow coating on the outside" so it reads: "I took a large bite and even though it had some yellow coating on the outside that was almost indescribably nasty," Well spotted by Martin Stockdale - marzipan is on the outside of a Battenburg, not the inside. I knew this.
16/ Turn to page 234 and where it says: "My inventor uncle Mycroft" change to read: "The real Thursday's inventor uncle Mycroft" because at this point we're talking about the real Thursday's uncle, not the fictitious Thursday's fictitious one.
17/ Turn to page 239 and where it says: "followed at a discrete distance" change to "followed at a discreet distance" . Discrete is 'separate, distinct' and Discreet is 'careful, judicious'.
18/ Turn to page 252 and where it says: "where iambic pentameters of exceptional beauty rubbed shoulders with dialogue" change "iambic pentameters" to "descriptive passages" so it reads: "where descriptive passages of exceptional beauty rubbed shoulders with dialogue" . Iambic pentameters belong over in Poetry.
19/ Turn to page 275 and where this exchange happens:
Charles Lyell, Botanist," read the name on the first door.
"Is botany boring?" Thursday asked.
"I suspect that it isn't, Ma'am, given there is an entire island committed to little else"
change it to read:
"Charles Lyell, Botanist," read Sprockett on the first door, "Is Botany boring?"
"I suspect that it isn't, given there is an entire island committed to little else.".
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of One of Our Thursdays is Missing V1.2. To fully authenticate your copy download the upgrade sticker file by clicking HERE. Print out the download and affix it to the title page of your copy. Thank you for using the jasperfforde.com upgrade service.
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