German language TN5 - now out!

The German Version of First Among Sequels

My publishers in Germany are DTV, and here is the latest offering - First Among Sequels, the 5th and latest Thursday Next adventure.

Those frightfully nice people at DTV sent me two of these, so I have one to give away FREE to someone who is insanely eager to get their mitts on a copy, and are either too poor to buy their own, or don't actually want one.

Since this is the first German TN5 - in fact, the first TN5 in any language other than English - I will be raising its value above Thermal Salvage levels by annointing it with my 'First Signed' stamp. (For those of you who said: 'The first what?' it's all explained HERE.

To win this fabulous prize that will make you the social highpoint of Cologne, all you have to do is to make up an amusing rhyme that features Angela Merkel. (It doesn't have to be rude; I think she's rather good.)

And the winner is..

Adrian Hood, with this offering:

In Germany Angela Merkel
Believes that efficient hard work'll
Be enough if selected
To get re-elected
Which naturally takes her full circle.

We felt that to find not one but two really good rhymes with 'Merkel' and then fineagle them so ingeniously into a short four-line poem was quite something. So well done Adrian, and our many thanks to everyone else who participated. 26th December 2009

Peter Stanton:

She's cultured, that Angela Merkel
Likes Mozart, K467 (that's Kochel)
Hearing Elvira Madigan
Makes her quite glad again
Having read 'The Good War 'by Studs Terkel

Brigitte Ruessmann:

Because she does detect so well
the public's each and every whim
they named her after the Merkel cell
a small receptor in our skin.

Hazel Rea:

Said Angela, "I think that it's true
That image can make or break you.
So if things get bad
And the voters get mad
I'll have another makeover ... or two!"

Adrian Hood (1):

In Germany Angela Merkel
Believes that efficient hard work'll
Be enough if selected
To get re-elected
Which naturally takes her full circle.

Adrian Hood (2):

Angela Merkel
Born to wear purple?


I knew I had to suffer,
the instructions were clear,
to frighten the reader,
I'll repeat them here:

Make up a rhyme,
put Miss Germany in it,
do it however you like,
just do make it fit!

But I had my doubts
if she'd like to participate,
so I went to Berlin
and knocked on her gate.

Finally the door opened,
it took quite a while,
and she just stood there
and watched me
with her businesslike smile.

I tried to smile back,
I tried to get my voice right,
I took all my courage,
yet managed to recite:

Angela Merkel,
the queen Germany never had,
please forgive me for abusing your name,
but I want that prize so bad.
You have to be in my poem,
it's only seven stanzas long,
I won't make money out of it,
neither a song.
Just move your head upward and downward
to show that you agree
so you'll have my vote
and I'll be full of glee.

As you can see: I was lucky,
she moved her head indeed
now I'd love to get my hands on that book,
please give in to my need!

B. Baumann:

Some people see red when they see Frau Merkel -
though her party is always charted in black.
It is because of that blazer which adds to her a more feminine note.
Maybe that is just a reminder of FF0000 in her webpage's html-code.

Paul Johnson:

Angela Merkel rode on a turtle,
To Disney's World Showcase enthused,
But the Germany Pavilion was anti-reptillian,
And entry was therefore refused.

Not to be spurned she simply returned,
On her mighty chelonian steed,
One Reichstag hand said the turtle was grand,
And Angela Merkel agreed.

And here is Verena Maser's entry:

Angela Merkel sat on the wall
Thinkin about last night's call.

"Fifth Japer Fforde in German out now!"
But it felt odd to her, somehow.

And then she knew the reason why:
(and it wasn't her husband's apple pie)

"First among sequels"
A book title without equals!

Maybe hard to translate, very well -
But "Somewhere entirely different" - not that swell

This rhyme isn't funny
I know that well
But it's my first, sunny
For now, farwell.

Verena Heinle composed the following:

In honor to Humpty, Angie and the Berliner Wall :)

Angela Merkel sat on the wall
Angela Merkel had a great fall
All german horses and all german men
Couldn't put Angie togehter again!

Esther from Bonn (Looking forward to Shades of Grey) penned this :

There once was a piglet from the continent
that thought asking the question was important
Why you want a rhyme with Ms Merkel
because the only rhyme word is "Ferkel"
and calling her that would be impertinent.

Then we have one from Rick Seven:

A Poem For Angela Merkel So I Can Win A Book
(Ein Gedicht Für Angela Merkel Also Mich Kann Ein Buch Gewinnen)

This September past, Germany held an election,
The Christian Democratic Union was the people's selection.
Re-elected was a woman donning a beige pant suit,
She celebrated the victory by eating sausages and soup.

Supported by her husband, Joachim, who is not often seen,
Declared 'The Most Powerful Woman in the World' by Forbes Magazine.
She has discarded economics that leans toward Keynesian,
Opting instead for a policy of housewives who are Swabian.

The Chancellor of Germany, no woman leader can match her,
For she is Angela Merkel, Deutschland's own Margaret Thatcher.

And Clare Bryden would like to win a competition tryptich:

"Observations on various world leaders, reserving praise for Angela Merkel, who after all is the subject of this competition and thought 'rather good' by the setter"

Barack Obama * has excellent karma
Manmohan Singh * doesn't do bling
Vladimir Putin * is so highfalutin
President Lula * is friends with Abdullah
Nicky Sarkozy * always looks dozy
Robert Mugabe * came last in the Derby
Signor Berlusconi * makes much cacophony
President Hu * exfoliates too
Kevin Rudd * wrestles in mud
Hamid Karzai * was called out by Hawkeye
President Zuma * likes eating puma
Bertie Ahern * is having a turn
Stephen Harper * could be much sharper
Hatoyama * was never a farmer
Hugo Chavez * We do what he says
Oor Gordon Broon * is wearing a froon

… And Angela Merkel?
Angela Merkel * is squaring the circle

Anna Jacobson (Australia) composed the following

Angela Merkel
bought a scarf that was purple
Yet this delightful hue
was more trouble than she knew
For it was more prized than red
and so one night instead
the scarf grew a crown
and flew off into town.

And this just came in from Erin Clarkson

There once was a young girl named Merkel
In college she surveyed Partikels
Then the CDU
Said we must have you!
And with her they won the Gepl”nkel

Nina Schuhen sent this poem

We're not ruled by a queen,
but have you seen
that Angie does possess
an equal looking dress?
She has no crown,
but always wears a frown.
And, have you heard,
sometimes she even wears a skirt!

Pamela D believes this is technically a rhyme of some sort

Angela Merkel, German Chancellor, it looks
As though she knows not of Thursday, but may one day read her books.

Page updated December 8th 02009