A picture of my mother.
This is my mum. If you see her on your travels then wave.
She'll like it and you'll feel better for doing it.
A message from Jasper's mother
I have been very busy with my other children and their children and having parties so i have not been able to speak to you recently but now i am really upset and feel you should know what has just happened.

It has come to my attention that a most scurrilous article has been written about me . Scurrilous indeed and probably libelous. In fact you could have knocked me down with one of Jasper's peacocks feathers: I am not so dumpy and stumpy as I was in that photograph.

It is truly sad that one of my children - this one is the third from the top and the second from the bottom - could have been so INACCURATE , mean and spiteful.

I am sure you all consider him as I described him last - handsome (huh); noisy - anyone within 5 miles has to wear ear plugs; a wonderful pilot - you should hear what the air traffic controllers say; kind to animals - Millie often has to come and stay with me for a bit of owner-relief: busy - he lolls around all day in his office not getting the wood in.

I am so upset I am considering TAKING ACTION. But to whom should I turn? Those with INFLUENCE of course. But where are they? I have already spoken to several people in the street and they have been MOST sympathetic.

What a terrible state of events when such filial misrepresentation, such diabolical slander, such calumny, such malign and malicious disrespect, is revealed and - diid I tell you? - attached to a CHRISTMAS CARD.

You may well gasp and stretch your eyes. I do beg you to email Jasper at once to tell him how much you disapprove of his conduct.

I wish you all a Happy New Year and will enjoy it myself a lot more when I know your disapproval is as great as mine.

Jasper's mother.

How silly: I see I forgot to tell you the exact nature of his misdemeanour. He said I was 93 but actually I am 95 - you can imagine how I was cut to the quick.

(I lied when I told you I was 91).

1st Jan 2006

My Mother's previous message:

"Lordy what a surprise to see my photograph on my darling son's Homepage although I was a bit cross if I tell you the truth that it was taken from the back because I have quite a pretty face although I am 91 and I looked so dumpy and stumpy its been so difficult bringing up all those children though I say it myself he was always my favourite perhaps a bit NOISY sometimes but very thoughtful of me except when he frightened me with all that messing about in the sky with those tiny aeroplanes and I have to tell you that when he took me up with him that I was nearly frightened to death I mean that quite seriously my heart actually stopped beating but of course I had to tell him what a wonderful pilot he was otherwise he wouldn't have spoken to me for weeks and he does talk in such a wonderful way that I would have really missed it I do have to admit that I am just very slightly deaf and sometimes am not certain whether he is saying lovely things or just slightly lovely things but you will see from his photograph that he is very handsome so that it doesn't really matter whether he is being kind or not but want I really want to say is that you must buy my lovely son Jasper's books BECAUSE I KNOW IT WILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACES AND A LIFT TO YOUR HEARTS

I will sign off now God bless you all

Jasper's Mum"