Re: Librarians
Posted by:
poetscientistdrinker (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date: January 28, 2003 07:35PM
<HTML>Right, that's it. If we're telling jokes that bad, i have no option other than to tell the Famous French Fighter Pilot joke.....
(For added accuracy, imagine me doing the actions, in a pub in Bristol, in a dodgy French accent, with Bea trying very hard not to choke to death)
Pierre (ze bravest, ze most magnificent, ze best endowed member of ze French airforce), has gone for a picnic, avec his latest conquest - Michelle.
Michelle has been overwhelmed by this magnificent gesture, and she cannot help herself - "Ooh, Pierre, you are so romantique. Kiss me on ze lips"
And Pierre, desperate to perform, grabs Michelle wildly, and moves to kiss her. Grabbing her by the waist he swings her round as moves to kiss her like she's never been kissed before. And as their lips move together, he stops.
"Michelle, zer is something I must do."
"Ooh, Pierre? What can stop zis moment of passion?"
Before she gets her reply, Pirre reaches over, rips the cork off a bottle of red with his teeth, splashes it over the poor girls lips, and gets stuck in.
After they come up for air, Michelle says: "Ooh, ooh, Pierre. Zat was so romantic. But why ze red wine?"
"I am Pierre, ze famous French fighter pilot - when I have ze red meat, I drink ze red wine."
"Ooh la la, Pierre, kiss me lower..."
Just like before, the randy pilot reaches over to the hamper, rips the cork out of a bottle - although this time it's white. After splashing it over her tits, he gets stuck into her breasts...
"Ooh, Ooh, Pierre, your tongue is so good, but why ze white wine?"
"I am Pierre, ze greatest fighter pilot in France. When Pierre has white meat, he must have ze white wine..."
"Ooh, Pierre, kiss me lower still.."
Pierre reaches over to the hamper and produces a bottle of Cognac. He rips the French maiden's knickers off with his teeth. He splashes the brandy all over her most delicate areas....
And produces a lighter and sets fire to the Cognac....
"Ow! Ow! Pierre!" says Michelle as she tries to beat the flames out... "What ze bloody hell are you doing?"
"I am Pierre, ze famous French fighter pilot extraordinaire - and when I go down - I go down in flames!"</HTML>