*ahem*

Dante - Don't issue any more challenges.

How's that?

<applaudes>

Tres bien!



--------------

There's a hole in my creativity bucket and it's all leaked out.

<wild clapping> encore!



_ _ _ _ _

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.

J'aime bien le blague des possions!

(Oui, je m'appelle le francais... un petit peu!)



--------------

There's a hole in my creativity bucket and it's all leaked out.

Je m'appelle --- are you QUITE sure about that bit?

Quelle horreur! Mes poissons n'ont-pas une bicyclette!



PSD

==========

This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

Tout d'abord , précédemment MOI se lever one mon perchoir et commencer à remplissage et patauger can MOI seulement dites thanksggiving ceux-ci dace it's pas souvent MOI trouver demandé à agréer tellement une sole - pénétrant tâche assignée. Normalement MOI would avoir tendance à trouver un peu tench autour de ths sorte de truc , mais MOI bière panachée carpe ; le c'est une mission thanksggiving can unique apporter une lueur d'espoir à punsters partout , faire sourire brème de toutes à eux visage. I'll prendre une tamponner à le , quand-même. MOI schiste argileux dans la première carrelet patiner terminé les éclaircir glace de les question de si une devez jeu de mots du tout , mais émouvoir franc one aux marsouin de cette poteau. Dans les ( que MOI réfléchir you'll voyons ) perche de les problème c'est que à créer une critique se masser de puns , sans site tourné les gâchette thanksggiving would raison peupler à merlu myself plus de que ils déjà font. MOI schiste argileux l'approbation les substance mordant , semblable à une esturgeon , et tâcher pas à crevette grise de les séquelles. Être que Je suis un peu sévère de hareng , MOI souvent écouter puns où personne exister , mais si MOI pilchard suffisamment MOI can habituellement résoudre se que état du terrain one ; quelques-unes puns êtes seulement trop de vilaine , quoique , et égal MOI would rejeter leur si ils éperlan suffisamment. Punning c'est facile , mais l'échec c'est les facilement sorte de traîner il y a , et si I'm pas à ressembler à une remplir vote J'ai besoin être âgé one mon gurnard l'ensemble le temps. Maintenant , quand à ça poteau ; Je pouvais toujours filet à sarcasme et autre griller sur un barbecue , mais thanksggiving would être fruits de mer. MOI assumes I'm verni dans cette tant que âgé suffisamment à se souvenir de les '70's, MOI jamais eu une rouget , mais en contrepartie MOI jamais eu suffisamment l'argent à être une guppy , tellement le toutes balances truite finalement. Sentir le goût de dans ceux-ci substance c'est toujours subjectif , mais peut-être l'idéal solution would être à prendre quelques-unes sorte de thon thanksggiving pouvions à la maison dans one peupler signification de se prêter aux caprices de ; ça c'est , MOI réalisme , une impossible brème , mais y pas de nécessité à être koi autour de se que I'm pénible à réaliser. Qui sait , quelques-unes peupler puissance pique le. Se que fait le wrasse les Achilles' anguille de l'ensemble étude c'est thanksggiving quelques-unes peupler seulement font pas trouver puns drôle. Sévère à honneur , Je sais , mais peut-être nous pouvions étendue égal ceux-ci si nous seulement proposition leur les pâle tourmenter. Que les hareng fumé et salé de les flamme de punning one ça fforum , MOI toucher le mon taxe à travailler sans cesse à transpirer gouvernail à élever ça formel de wordplay vivant , égal si quelques-unes would préférons MOI gardé les cichlid one le. MOI destiner à élever les flamme vivant , à verser éclairer one les merveilleux mondial de puns , pour se que autre utilité a une luminaire , prier? Quelquefois vous avez à oeufs de poisson votre propre canot. Saumon une fois que ont dit thanksggiving sarcasme c'est les le plus bas formel de intelligence , mais ça c'est , contre remboursement sait , pas toujours équivalence pour un jour trajet. Pêcher puns êtes , et I'll vaurien tourné vite et palourde en haut précédemment vous toutes trouver requin à myself. MOI seulement doivent font ceux-ci truc une fois que dans une baleine , mais pour maintenant I'll s'en aller vous à les valide de Lézard Vairon chantant 'Moray Fait les Mondial Vont Visites de les valve musical 'Craberet'. Toucher libérer à danser les congre. I've été Imper Kerel , et le survenir dans manta rayon.

Bravo

Encore

Et meme-sure, encore un fois!

Truly inspired Ptols, Francis Matthews would've been proud of you. (Parlez Vous Franglais, Punch, c. 1978)

But puns as well, monsieur Matthews would've been proud . . .



Jesus saves; Buddha does incremental backup.

Ah, but PSD deserves the credit really - it was his story in the first place, all I did was f*** with it

You remember Francis Matthews too! Yay!


* that's "french", obviously! ;)

Don't blame me - it was Jon what did it!

(you can tell the difference - he's the funny one)



PSD

==========

This is the work of an Italian narco-anarchic collective. Don't bother insulting them, they can't read English anyway.

For those who find that sort of thing amusing, this is what happened when I had the computer reverse translate it back into English:

First of all, previously ME to rise one my perch and to begin with filling and patauger edge ME only known as thanksggiving those dace it' S not often ME to find asked to approve a plate so much - penetrating tries assigned. Normally ME would to tend to find a little tench around ths kind of trick, but ME shandy carp; the EC is a single mission thanksggiving edge of bringing a glimmer of hope to punsters everywhere, to make smile brème of very to them face. I' ll to take one to plug with, anyway. ME argillaceous schist in the first sail needle to patinate finished to clear up them ice of the question of if one owe pun of the whole, but to frankly move one with the porpoise by this post. In (that ME to reflect you' ll see) the pole of the problem it is that to create a criticism to mass puns, without site turned the trigger thanksggiving would reason to populate with hake myself more that they already make. ME argillaceous schist approval substance corrosive, similar to a esturgeon, and to try not with gray shrimp of the after-effects. To be that I am a little severe of herring, ME often to listen to puns where nobody to exist, but if ME pilchard sufficiently ME edge usually to solve that state of the ground one; some puns only too be of unpleasant, though, and equal ME would to reject their if they éperlan sufficiently. Punning it is easy, but the failure it is easily the kind to trail there is, and if I' m not to resemble one to fill vote I need old being one my gurnard the unit time. Now, when with that post; I always could net with sarcastic remark and other to roast on a barbecue, but thanksggiving would to be seafood. ME assume I' m varnished in this as long as old sufficiently remembering the ' 70' S, ME ever have a mullet, but n the other hand ME ever have sufficiently money to be a guppy, so much it all balances trout finally. To feel the taste of in those substance it is always subjective, but the ideal solution would to perhaps be to take some left tuna thanksggiving could at the house in one populate significance to lend itself to the whims; that it is, ME realism, impossible a brème, but there not of need to be koi around that I' m painful to realize. Who knows, some to populate power pricks it. That makes it wrasse myself Achilles' eel of the unit study it is thanksggiving some to only populate do not make find puns funny. Severe with honor, I know, but perhaps we could extent equal those if us only proposal their the pale one to torment. That the red herring and salted of the flame of punning one that fforum, ME to touch to it my tax to be unceasingly worked to perspire rudder to raise that formal of wordplay alive, equal if some would prefer ME kept the cichlid one it. ME to intend to raise the flame living, to pour to light marvellous one world puns, for that another utility does have a luminary, to request? Sometimes you have with fish eggs your own boat. Salmon once that said thanksggiving sarcastic remark it is the low formal one of intelligence, but that it is not, counters refunding knows, always equivalence for one way day. To fish puns be, and I' ll quickly turned good-for-nothing and clam in top previously you all to find shark with myself. ME only do those trick once must that in a whale, but for now I' ll from to go away you to the valid one of Lizard Minnow singing ' Moray Fait the World one Go Visits of the valve musical ' Craberet '. To touch to release to dance conger. I' ve be Imper Kerel, and to occur it in manta ray.



--------------
&quot;I've often said that the difference between British and American SF TV series is that the British ones have three-dimensional characters and cardboard spaceships, while the Americans do it the other way around.&quot;
--Ross Smith

Pardon?

I've been in management meetings that made less sense.

More worryingly still, I've been to management meetings that've made more sense, KT....

this is maybe why I get lost talking to so many people

I don't get it

Please, you want to try French poetry competitions?

The direct translation of the first verse of the poem I had to learn:

Forty children in a room
A blackboard and its triangle
A big circle, hesitant and deaf,
Its centre beats like a drum

Want to hear the rest? The other poem was about the genocide of house flies...



---
Those who forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.

There's an art to poetry translation, and if you'll allow me to show off a little I shall demonstrate.

Tragedia di un Dieci
(Gianni Rodari)

Fuggiva un giorno un Dieci
pieno di trepidazione,
inseguito da un nemico
mortale: la Sottrazione!
Il poverino è raggiunto,
crudelmente mutilato:
ben due unità ha perduto,
un Otto è diventato.
Dalla padella cascando
nella brace, ecco qua,
incappa nella Divisione
che lo taglia a metà.
Ora è un misero Quattro,
mal visto dagli scolari.
“Consolati – gli dicono –
sei sempre un numero pari.”
“C’è poco da consolarsi,
la mia sorte è ben dura.
O incontro un’Addizione
o sarà… la bocciatura.”


And here is my translation:

Decimation
(Gianni Rodari)

Once a timid Ten was fleeing
From a terrible Subtraction,
In its fear and trepidation
Driven almost to distraction.
When the dread Subtraction caught it,
It set out to amputate,
Cruelly chopped off two units
Leaving a Disconsoleight.
From the frying pan our number
Fell into the fire indeed,
Ran straight into a Division
Which bisected it at speed.
Now a Four, it lurked embarrassed,
Barely caught the scholars’ stare:
“But you’re still an even number,”
they consoled it, "so, there, there!"
“That is little consolation,
Harsh and bitter is my cup;
If I don’t meet an Addition,
Then, alas, my number’s up!”


Funnily enough, this too is all Dante's fault, but not the same Dante. I have a dream that one day I shall translate the Divine Comedy... in full rhyme and metre!



..........................................................................................

That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

Oh, it's probably my fault really. Most things are.

(I don't think I like having my name in the titles of two threads. It keeps catching my eye, in a severe case of visual cocktail party syndrome.)



:--

Do something pretty while you can...

Well, if you want to take the blame for it, don't let me stop you! After all, the original Dante is long dead... :-)

Wilfred the penguin is curious about the disgraceful and distasteful pleasures in your sig. He already knows all about the distilled ones!



..........................................................................................

That which does not kill us makes us stranger.
(Llewelyn the dragon, Ozy and Millie)

Sarah

Well, the quote is from "The Drinking Song" by the Divine Comedy, which Wilfred would probably like.

Edit: Oh, it's actually from "Don't Look Down", from the same album. But Wilfred would probably still like the Drinking Song.

As to the *actual* pleasures, well, he'll just have to experiment...



Post Edited (07-12-03 17:00)

:--

Do something pretty while you can...