I give it up.
I'm a fraud. I'm not a tattooist.
I've never even been in a military band let alone know how to draw one on jugs (from memory, mammory or otherwise).

Lady T.
You are obviously from very noble stock and I take it that you were thinking of England when you offered to submit to me. Let it never be be said that I, as a gentleman, took advantage your parlous situation.

Indeed, I remember that on another thread we were sittting "with decorum" near each other (during a food fight) without a hint of 'submissiveness' or slipping the tongue in on either part. None of us shall ever mention this sort of slander again.


<except probably kitten, who will twist it out of all proportion>

Robert said: <except probably kitten, who will twist it out of all proportion>


Please. I prefer more of a challenge.

To Sir Robert:

Actually by submitting, I meant that I was choosing acknowledge the forsaken bit of humor in your last posting by answering the rehtorical question. Normally I would have not done so. I am flattered, and delighted that you noticed my noble stock. You are quite correct in beliving that any slip of the tounge or loss of dignaty on my part is quite beyond my capacity. Let no more be said of it.

Long Live the Queen!



______________________________
It was the curious incident of the dog in the night time.

noble stock.

What you get when you boil the royals?

Nope.
That's Windsor Soup.

yum.



______________________________
It was the curious incident of the dog in the night time.

robert: That's Windsor Soup.

As opposed to Loozed'er Soup, which is what it's called when the Queen spills it in her lap.

---

'Who looks after the animals?'

A gentleman or lady does not discuss Her Majesty's lap, let alone notice that it is full of bisque. One simply tips one's Pho Bo onto one's own crutch and says, "Golly, look what a galoot I am. And - oh! - your Majesty, some seems to have splashed on you too!"

That brings an anecdote to mind. When I was young our mothers (I grew up in a block of flats) used often despair at how dishevelled and grimey all of us kids became by the end of the day, and our reluctance to change, wash, or any of that stuff.
A common motherly refrain was "What if the Queen came around for dinner and you were sitting there looking like that? She'd walk straight out the door again!"
Strangely enough - I often ponder the logic to this day - this insane admonition usually succeeded and urchins would shuffle reluctantly off to do something vaguely hygenic and improve their appearance so as not to shame the family in front of the now expected visitor. This worked time and time again and none of us ever questioned the likelihood of Elizabeth II suddenly anchoring in Sydney Harbour and dropping round for a chop and three veg.
Come to think of it, I might just go and put my shoes back on.

That's what's so adorable about small children.

You can get them to do almost anything!



__________________________________
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

Oh yes, it's amazing the dangerous stunts you can get young children to try if you wave a packet of m&ms at them.

Nah, bribery isn't necessary. The real trick to getting kids to do what you want is to tell them if they don't do it you'll walk them to their classroom the next day and kiss them goodbye in front of everyone. Works wonders with my boys.

(applause)

You EVIL woman! How could you stoop so low!

I take it they are small? That means you have to stoop lower....

Anyway.

/coat



__________________________________
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

6, 8 and 11. The elder 2 are the perfect age for such bribery. Doesn't always work as well with the youngest, but his day will come.

That's inhumane!



__________________________________
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

Very funny though.



_ _ _ _ _

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.

It's still pure, unadultarated evil! No matter how effective!



__________________________________
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

Why, thank you.

And you're PLEASED about it!

You've probably given them one of them complex things.



__________________________________
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

As opposed to one of them simple things?