Take me into the black tell them I ain't coming back.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blood! Death! War! Rumpy pumpy! Triumph!

There's no place I can't be, since I found serenity....

What about poi? Spinning burny things on chains should be random enough for most people here....

__________________________________
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

'Everyone knows that real, genuine evil megalomaniacs only want to have fun. That's why god gave them cackling laughter and white pussies.'


I am fascinated by the 'white pussies'.

<Exits stage left in pursuit of large baox*** of assorted pills>

<throws four Birman cats and one Norwegian forest cat out of way in rush to deal with fascination>


*** baox - combination bag and box. Not strong as a box, not flexible as a bag - incorporates weaknesses of both without thier virtues.

Everyone's fascinated by the white pussies. Fortunately here at Egon's School for Super-Villains and Megalomaniacs we have specialist training for cackling, pussy raising, and natural sounding plot exposition. Send your child here today!

<Engages in starting contest with Norwegian forest cat>

Egon, do you have a whole course on the construction of fiendishly complicated and time consuming scenario's for the disposal of the hero?

That's part of our advanced 'A Level replacement scheme' for ages 16-18. Demand is high, but the rewards are worth it. See module 'TPHD05 Advanced theoretical project management and hero displacement techniques'.

What about henchmen? Where do you get them cheaply?

__________________________________
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

We have an agreement with a neighbouring Institute. Please see relevant information for the 'Institute for Executive Assistants and Dependable Operatives, Inc.).

I will do so. :)

Of course, they had better have a high turnover rate of graduates....

__________________________________
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

They have their ways, and we have ours. I feel a cackle coming on...

Nyahaahahahahahahahahahahahaa!

That feels better.

Egon.

Dear Prof. Spengler:

Please find enclosed flat-head tails as a token of thanks for your inspiring lecture "Evil Viziering for fun and profit."

And a very special thank you for those submarine palace brochures.

You're welcome, Miss Kitten. However, it's DEAN Spengler and now there will be consequences.

What about Star Spengler? Can design flags or summat. Evil flags if you like.

__________________________________
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

I fail to understand. Possibly my intellect has advanced too far to understand such drivel. I shall get an underling to translate.

I think Martin's offering to make you a Star Spengler'd Banner...

A flag? Excellent! I shall set the design as a competition for the surviving Sixth Formers!

A Star Spengled (Bruce) Banner - It ought to be green, then.

<infamy, infamy, they all have it in for me...>



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/23/2008 08:56AM by EgonSpengler.

Dear Dean Spengler,

many starred banner of our hopes.

I wish to enquire if you need any sub-henchmen (and women/ladies?) for your courses?

We have a surplus supply of lawyers, real estate agent trainees, used car salesmen and women, talkback radio hosts, federal and state politicians, former Primed Monsters (come without brains or batteries) which we feel would improve the common lot if they were used as basic training fodder for some hopefully painful experiences, and, even more hopefully, resultant death at the hands of your trainees.

Leftovers must not be thrown into the sea due to protection order extant for great white sharks (not golfers, who may also be used as training fodder) as they are in danger of becoming extinct, which, unfortunately, all the above are not.

Please let me know how many shipping containers you would like. As a special introductory off, if you take one , we will gladly supply all the others free of charge.

Should there be some EU regulation which prohibits such delivery please let us know the volcano of your choice and we will make a donation in your name.

Bunyip,

Your enquiry has been passed on to the relevant departmental heads and shall be replied to at a future time. Unfortunately, the groups you specified have been found in the past to be lacking in the basic qualities required for successful henching: Blind loyalty, intelligent imbecility, and of course the capacity for silence. Recommendations shall be made soon. On the upside we do need live targets for the simulation scenarios so maybe your volunteers will be of use.

Should your proposal be accepted, please be prepared to specify a port of your choice to receive our specially designed 'candidate transport receptacles' and the transaction shall proceed promptly. If acceptance does not occur, notice of volcano or endless borehole choice would be supplied promptly.

Thank you for your interest.

Dean Spengler.

NOTE: Enrolment is now open for our correspondence course in cacophonic cackling and cat grooming.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/25/2008 07:58PM by EgonSpengler.