00) May be of vegetable or animal origin. May have some small mineral content.
01) Does it smell? No.
02) Is it a sliced loaf? No.
03) Is it edible? No.
04) IS it bigger than a breadbox? Some yes, some no.
05) Would Mrs Edith Gumbridge (Housewife, Retired, of Swinestown) be surprised to find her nine year old niece Maggie had brought one home from school in her schoolbag? Definitely yes.
06) Is it found in nature? No.

07) Do they have moving parts?

00) May be of vegetable or animal origin. May have some small mineral content.
01) Does it smell? No.
02) Is it a sliced loaf? No.
03) Is it edible? No.
04) IS it bigger than a breadbox? Some yes, some no.
05) Would Mrs Edith Gumbridge (Housewife, Retired, of Swinestown) be surprised to find her nine year old niece Maggie had brought one home from school in her schoolbag? Definitely yes.
06) Is it found in nature? No.
07) Do they have moving parts? I would say yes.

<cackles>



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/03/2010 11:01AM by EgonSpengler.

<casts worried glance at cackling Egon>

<steps back a few paces>

<raises voice slightly>

Does it make noise during normal use, and I mean noise as in the sound level of one person speaking at normal conversation level?

<grumbles at having dropped the breadbox card. again. it's a much easier question to ask!>

00) May be of vegetable or animal origin. May have some small mineral content.
01) Does it smell? No.
02) Is it a sliced loaf? No.
03) Is it edible? No.
04) IS it bigger than a breadbox? Some yes, some no.
05) Would Mrs Edith Gumbridge (Housewife, Retired, of Swinestown) be surprised to find her nine year old niece Maggie had brought one home from school in her schoolbag? Definitely yes.
06) Is it found in nature? No.
07) Do they have moving parts? I would say yes.
08) Does it make noise during normal use? No.

Mwaahahahhahahahahahahaa!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/03/2010 03:05PM by EgonSpengler.

Does one wear it (on the body)?

00) May be of vegetable or animal origin. May have some small mineral content.
01) Does it smell? No.
02) Is it a sliced loaf? No.
03) Is it edible? No.
04) IS it bigger than a breadbox? Some yes, some no.
05) Would Mrs Edith Gumbridge (Housewife, Retired, of Swinestown) be surprised to find her nine year old niece Maggie had brought one home from school in her schoolbag? Definitely yes.
06) Is it found in nature? No.
07) Do they have moving parts? I would say yes.
08) Does it make noise during normal use? No.
09) Does one wear it (on the body)? Yes.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/03/2010 10:21PM by EgonSpengler.

Is it, in fact, a piece of clothing (or part of one)?

00) May be of vegetable or animal origin. May have some small mineral content.
01) Does it smell? No.
02) Is it a sliced loaf? No.
03) Is it edible? No.
04) IS it bigger than a breadbox? Some yes, some no.
05) Would Mrs Edith Gumbridge (Housewife, Retired, of Swinestown) be surprised to find her nine year old niece Maggie had brought one home from school in her schoolbag? Definitely yes.
06) Is it found in nature? No.
07) Do they have moving parts? I would say yes.
08) Does it make noise during normal use? No.
09) Does one wear it (on the body)? Yes.
10) Item of clothing? No.

Is it a bag or pack of some sort?

00) May be of vegetable or animal origin. May have some small mineral content.
01) Does it smell? No.
02) Is it a sliced loaf? No.
03) Is it edible? No.
04) IS it bigger than a breadbox? Some yes, some no.
05) Would Mrs Edith Gumbridge (Housewife, Retired, of Swinestown) be surprised to find her nine year old niece Maggie had brought one home from school in her schoolbag? Definitely yes.
06) Is it found in nature? No.
07) Do they have moving parts? I would say yes.
08) Does it make noise during normal use? No.
09) Does one wear it (on the body)? Yes.
10) Item of clothing? No.
11) A bag or pack or some sort? No.

<chortles, then looks worried>

Would I expect to see more people wearing it here in New Zealand (the home of the tattooed Maori) than in the small Welsh village of Little Scumble on the Bog?

Digression begins.
By the way, I live in Christchurch, New Zealand, where we had yesterday morning (4:35am) a 7.1 earthquake. Since then there's been dozens of aftershocks, the largest five hours ago of 5.1. (and one as I'm typing this, of about 4.)

No deaths, little injury, but a reported one billion dollars (US$) damage.

I have several bookshelves above my bed, holding about 200 paperbacks, 100 hardbacks and about 50 large reference books. The whole lot came down on me. Fortunately the big ones missed (some hitting the wall on the opposite side of the room) and all that struck me was a little light reading.
Digression ends.

I'm very glad you're okay! (I hope the books were okay, too!) Are all our other Kiwi Fforumites alright?

12) Is it jewelry/decorative?

If no, then 13) Is it a harness of some sort?

00) May be of vegetable or animal origin. May have some small mineral content.
01) Does it smell? No.
02) Is it a sliced loaf? No.
03) Is it edible? No.
04) IS it bigger than a breadbox? Some yes, some no.
05) Would Mrs Edith Gumbridge (Housewife, Retired, of Swinestown) be surprised to find her nine year old niece Maggie had brought one home from school in her schoolbag? Definitely yes.
06) Is it found in nature? No.
07) Do they have moving parts? I would say yes.
08) Does it make noise during normal use? No.
09) Does one wear it (on the body)? Yes.
10) Item of clothing? No.
11) A bag or pack or some sort? No.
12) Would I expect to see more people wearing it here in New Zealand than in a small Welsh village? No.
13) Is it jewelry/decorative? No, used in the line of work.

<Tries frantically to think of something vegetable/animal, an artefact with moving parts, that is worn on the body and used in the line of work>

<Fails>

Does it contain paper?

I think I outsmarted myself.

00) May be of vegetable or animal origin. May have some small mineral content.
01) Does it smell? No.
02) Is it a sliced loaf? No.
03) Is it edible? No.
04) IS it bigger than a breadbox? Some yes, some no.
05) Would Mrs Edith Gumbridge (Housewife, Retired, of Swinestown) be surprised to find her nine year old niece Maggie had brought one home from school in her schoolbag? Definitely yes.
06) Is it found in nature? No.
07) Do they have moving parts? I would say yes.
08) Does it make noise during normal use? No.
09) Does one wear it (on the body)? Yes.
10) Item of clothing? No.
11) A bag or pack or some sort? No.
12) Would I expect to see more people wearing it here in New Zealand than in a small Welsh village? No.
13) Is it jewelry/decorative? No, used in the line of work.
14) Does it contain paper? I would imagine not.

<Worn on the body, not an item of clothing, some bigger than a breadbox. I thought I'd nailed it with a tattoo. (Warning! Do not apply tattoos with nails.)>

Is it more likely to be worn by males?

00) May be of vegetable or animal origin. May have some small mineral content.
01) Does it smell? No.
02) Is it a sliced loaf? No.
03) Is it edible? No.
04) IS it bigger than a breadbox? Some yes, some no.
05) Would Mrs Edith Gumbridge (Housewife, Retired, of Swinestown) be surprised to find her nine year old niece Maggie had brought one home from school in her schoolbag? Definitely yes.
06) Is it found in nature? No.
07) Do they have moving parts? I would say yes.
08) Does it make noise during normal use? No.
09) Does one wear it (on the body)? Yes.
10) Item of clothing? No.
11) A bag or pack or some sort? No.
12) Would I expect to see more people wearing it here in New Zealand than in a small Welsh village? No.
13) Is it jewelry/decorative? No, used in the line of work.
14) Does it contain paper? I would imagine not.
15) Is it more likely to be worn by males? In the beginning yes, and probably still now.

Is it a harness of some sort?

00) May be of vegetable or animal origin. May have some small mineral content.
01) Does it smell? No.
02) Is it a sliced loaf? No.
03) Is it edible? No.
04) IS it bigger than a breadbox? Some yes, some no.
05) Would Mrs Edith Gumbridge (Housewife, Retired, of Swinestown) be surprised to find her nine year old niece Maggie had brought one home from school in her schoolbag? Definitely yes.
06) Is it found in nature? No.
07) Do they have moving parts? I would say yes.
08) Does it make noise during normal use? No.
09) Does one wear it (on the body)? Yes.
10) Item of clothing? No.
11) A bag or pack or some sort? No.
12) Would I expect to see more people wearing it here in New Zealand than in a small Welsh village? No.
13) Is it jewelry/decorative? No, used in the line of work.
14) Does it contain paper? I would imagine not.
15) Is it more likely to be worn by males? In the beginning yes, and probably still now.
16) Is it a harness of some sort? No.

<begins to dread reactions>

Look behind you, a three headed monkey?