Which would have been worrying if Puck didn't throw like a girl.

That wasn't criticism Holly, it was applause... mine, I mean. I wouldn't dream of speaking for Puck, of course.



_ _ _ _ _

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.

Ali hun, I was, as always, grateful for your kindness but hung head to acknowledge the true awfulness of the joke. This is what happens when you hang around with small boys. (until they clap you in irons)

Maybe someone is speaking for Puck. While drinking a glass of water and trying to say the alphabet. Like Orville. I shall from now on read all Puck's posts in the Duck's voice.

If you try to fire a squashy tomato with a slingshot, do you really think it would fly anywhere but straight down onto your own shirt?

In that sense, I'd say Puck was very selfless...

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Design #3609494995:
It's a newly-discovered breed of fish that keeps your teeth clean, tastes delicious and dissolves in water.
generated with The Prior-Art-O-Matic

If Puck was using a slingshot with the squashy tomato, how did you know the fairy throws like a girl?



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It was the curious incident of the dog in the night time.

Eerie telepathic powers.

Coz the slingshot is female.

And I know THAT because..... well, let's just say she was wearing a very short skirt.

*flinch* I'm sorry. I forgot she's back, and we're all poor unfortunate souls for having to read that. I thought that maybe 'slingshot' is a feminine noun in some language somewhere.



______________________________
It was the curious incident of the dog in the night time.

I've got fairly quick equipment but this thread is getting too slow, so...
with a sort of nostalgic reluctance - leaving all of the flaming and defaming in recebt posts to the Net Archaeologists of the futire - I'm trying to recreate this thread as "Fforum Member Things You Don't Need To Know".

I've got fairly quick equipment

I hear that you can get tablets for that. I seem to get a plethora of emails on the subject, daily...

*snort*

I think that deserves a small prize. Although according to other emails, you can get lotions to make 'em bigger.

Surely the act of rubbing it in alone would make it bigger?

Ffamily fforum I know, I'm sorry. Please don't throw me out after my first post back...

Re: Dave's plethora of emails.
Which one of you mongrels sent my email address to a swag of annoying companies and told them my name was 'Heinrich Himmler'? It can only be someone odd enough to be a fforumite.

Can't be - we're all pedigree, chum.



_ _ _ _ _

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.

In Oz, 'mongrel' is a term of endearment; indeed, our national animal - the Kelpie - is a crossbreed of every other dog in existence. Most aussies think that a pedigree is something that you get at the beauty parlour. (Not that any of us would go to one of those, but we've seen them on the telly)

splat21: Can't be - we're all pedigree, chum.

I'd much prefer to be the mongrel than the pet food.

---

'Who looks after the animals?'

Herr Himmler? Maybe it was Simon Wiesenthal?

*squashy tomato bounces off the back of Holly's head and narrowly misses Lady Teaspoon*



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Metaphors be with you!

<sends wig to cleaners>

<confiscates rest of squashy tomatoes, makes gazpacho, eats some, breathes garlic over Puck causing her eyes to smart somewhat, hands Puck a towel to wipe her eyes and walks away giggling because Puck's fallen for the 'invisible ink' trick.>

*With an inky ninja mask painted on her face, Puck becomes the epitome of stealth. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the ninja hobgoblin appears flying at Holly, poised to attack! It is over in moments: Puck has dissolved back into the shadows from whence she appeared. Holly is left rather dazed.*



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Metaphors be with you!