Chesse Enforcement Agency

Legal to Own and Trade without a licence.

Camembert (.3)

This popular soft-ripened cheese is similar to Brie, but spelt differently. The name's not protected, so there are lots of Camemberts of varying quality on the market. Use within a few days after purchasing. If Camembert is allowed to age past three weeks it becomes a Class B cheese or alternatively can be used as a crashmat for gymastic students, or a badly-flying frisbee.

Duty charged per kilo: £42.

Gouda (.2)

Some say this Dutch cheese has a mild, nutty flavor, others think it doesn't taste of anything at all. Varieties include smoked Gouda, the cute baby Gouda, and Goudas flavored with garlic and spices. The rind comes in a variety of colours and can be made into candles, small voodoo models or animals to entertain bored children.

Duty charged per kilo: £61.

Cheddar (1.1)

The most harmless of cheeses. Super extra matured may sometime require a licence. See Class B. The curds of many English cheeses are "cheddared" or cut into slabs and stacked to allow whey to drain off. England supplies many fine Cheddars to the global legal cheese market.

Duty charged per kilo: £56.

Edam (.02)

Originally designed as Professional croquet shoulder-pads, this cheese has a red wax coating to warn cheese-eaters of its blandness. Not many people know this, but Edam also spells "made" backwards.

Duty charged per kilo: £32.

Class A
Class B

CEA - The Cheese Enforcement Agency - 2007
Please do not approach anyone offering to sell you illegal cheese - They could be armed and are inevitable dangerous!