Does it have a display?

00) Mineral - Made of metal.
01) Is it bigger than the average breadbin? No, definitely smaller.
02) Does it have moving parts? No, not unless tampered with.
03) Does it require electricity to function? No. Quite the contrary.
04) Does it produce light? No.
05) Is it meant to be in contact with the human body? Yes.
06) Does it form a loop when worn? No, not unless tampered with.
07) Is it primarily decorative (as opposed to practical)? No, with one important exception.
08) Does it have a display? No.

<I really shouldn't play this game before I've properly woken up>

Once in contact with a human body, is it normally left where it was placed? (As opposed to normally being removed after a few hours.)

<Indeed you shouldn't. The answer is no to both your question and to its proposed alternative>

00) Mineral - Made of metal.
01) Is it bigger than the average breadbin? No, definitely smaller.
02) Does it have moving parts? No, not unless tampered with.
03) Does it require electricity to function? No. Quite the contrary.
04) Does it produce light? No.
05) Is it meant to be in contact with the human body? Yes.
06) Does it form a loop when worn? No, not unless tampered with.
07) Is it primarily decorative (as opposed to practical)? No, with one important exception.
08) Does it have a display? No.
09) Once in contact with a human body, is it normally left where it was placed? No.

Is it a fastening?

00) Mineral - Made of metal.
01) Is it bigger than the average breadbin? No, definitely smaller.
02) Does it have moving parts? No, not unless tampered with.
03) Does it require electricity to function? No. Quite the contrary.
04) Does it produce light? No.
05) Is it meant to be in contact with the human body? Yes.
06) Does it form a loop when worn? No, not unless tampered with.
07) Is it primarily decorative (as opposed to practical)? No, with one important exception.
08) Does it have a display? No.
09) Once in contact with a human body, is it normally left where it was placed? No.
10) Is it a fastening? No.

Does it require training to use the item?

00) Mineral - Made of metal.
01) Is it bigger than the average breadbin? No, definitely smaller.
02) Does it have moving parts? No, not unless tampered with.
03) Does it require electricity to function? No. Quite the contrary.
04) Does it produce light? No.
05) Is it meant to be in contact with the human body? Yes.
06) Does it form a loop when worn? No, not unless tampered with.
07) Is it primarily decorative (as opposed to practical)? No, with one important exception.
08) Does it have a display? No.
09) Once in contact with a human body, is it normally left where it was placed? No.
10) Is it a fastening? No.
11) Does it require training to use the item? Yes, definitely.

Is it a weapon?

00) Mineral - Made of metal.
01) Is it bigger than the average breadbin? No, definitely smaller.
02) Does it have moving parts? No, not unless tampered with.
03) Does it require electricity to function? No. Quite the contrary.
04) Does it produce light? No.
05) Is it meant to be in contact with the human body? Yes.
06) Does it form a loop when worn? No, not unless tampered with.
07) Is it primarily decorative (as opposed to practical)? No, with one important exception.
08) Does it have a display? No.
09) Once in contact with a human body, is it normally left where it was placed? No.
10) Is it a fastening? No.
11) Does it require training to use the item? Yes, definitely.
12) Is it a weapon? No. It could be used as such but is not meant to.

Is it a musical instrument?

00) Mineral - Made of metal.
01) Is it bigger than the average breadbin? No, definitely smaller.
02) Does it have moving parts? No, not unless tampered with.
03) Does it require electricity to function? No. Quite the contrary.
04) Does it produce light? No.
05) Is it meant to be in contact with the human body? Yes.
06) Does it form a loop when worn? No, not unless tampered with.
07) Is it primarily decorative (as opposed to practical)? No, with one important exception.
08) Does it have a display? No.
09) Once in contact with a human body, is it normally left where it was placed? No.
10) Is it a fastening? No.
11) Does it require training to use the item? Yes, definitely.
12) Is it a weapon? No. It could be used as such but is not meant to.
13) Is it a musical instrument? No. It could be used as such but is not meant to.

In normal use, is it held in the hand(s)?

00) Mineral - Made of metal.
01) Is it bigger than the average breadbin? No, definitely smaller.
02) Does it have moving parts? No, not unless tampered with.
03) Does it require electricity to function? No. Quite the contrary.
04) Does it produce light? No.
05) Is it meant to be in contact with the human body? Yes.
06) Does it form a loop when worn? No, not unless tampered with.
07) Is it primarily decorative (as opposed to practical)? No, with one important exception.
08) Does it have a display? No.
09) Once in contact with a human body, is it normally left where it was placed? No.
10) Is it a fastening? No.
11) Does it require training to use the item? Yes, definitely.
12) Is it a weapon? No. It could be used as such but is not meant to.
13) Is it a musical instrument? No. It could be used as such but is not meant to.
14) In normal use, is it held in the hand(s)? Yes.

15) Given that I'm too old to be truly decadent, too young to be eccentric and too dull to be Bohemian, am I more likely to find one in my kitchen than my bedroom?

00) Mineral - Made of metal.
01) Is it bigger than the average breadbin? No, definitely smaller.
02) Does it have moving parts? No, not unless tampered with.
03) Does it require electricity to function? No. Quite the contrary.
04) Does it produce light? No.
05) Is it meant to be in contact with the human body? Yes.
06) Does it form a loop when worn? No, not unless tampered with.
07) Is it primarily decorative (as opposed to practical)? No, with one important exception.
08) Does it have a display? No.
09) Once in contact with a human body, is it normally left where it was placed? No.
10) Is it a fastening? No.
11) Does it require training to use the item? Yes, definitely.
12) Is it a weapon? No. It could be used as such but is not meant to.
13) Is it a musical instrument? No. It could be used as such but is not meant to.
14) In normal use, is it held in the hand(s)? Yes.
15) Given that I'm too old to be truly decadent, too young to be eccentric and too dull to be Bohemian, am I more likely to find one in my kitchen than my bedroom? Yes.

<blushes>

Re. the training required to use the item: Is this a type of training that most Fforumites are likely to have had at some point?

Yes. I don't know any of you in person but it's a reasonable assumption.

16) Cutlery of some sort?

00) Mineral - Made of metal.
01) Is it bigger than the average breadbin? No, definitely smaller.
02) Does it have moving parts? No, not unless tampered with.
03) Does it require electricity to function? No. Quite the contrary.
04) Does it produce light? No.
05) Is it meant to be in contact with the human body? Yes.
06) Does it form a loop when worn? No, not unless tampered with.
07) Is it primarily decorative (as opposed to practical)? No, with one important exception.
08) Does it have a display? No.
09) Once in contact with a human body, is it normally left where it was placed? No.
10) Is it a fastening? No.
11) Does it require training to use the item? Yes, definitely.
11a) Is this a type of training that most Fforumites are likely to have had at some point? Yes.
12) Is it a weapon? No. It could be used as such but is not meant to.
13) Is it a musical instrument? No. It could be used as such but is not meant to.
14) In normal use, is it held in the hand(s)? Yes.
15) Given that I'm too old to be truly decadent, too young to be eccentric and too dull to be Bohemian, am I more likely to find one in my kitchen than my bedroom? Yes.
16) Cutlery of some sort? Yes.