Thinks.... this is a brilliant game with seriously intelligent players

Wonders... why are there not more participants

Sighs and turns aardvark inside out ( 'ard work) Gain ten precious fractions

<Hops over Geg, reaches finish line but lands on snake.>
<Slides back 13 spaces and takes top Community Chest card. You have won a beauty contest, collect $10 from every other player ...>

<holds hand out in expectation>

<Wipes expectorating hand, places small honey-bee in palm of hand of contest winner.>
<Too contrived a set-up, maybe?>
<Decides that since beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder, will retain $10 to buy alcohol.>
<Buys alcohol.>

Beer obviously

Feeling sorry for Cannibal Rabbit and his fruitless dreams of wealth press a $10 commemorative coin into his palm but take it back when the impression becomes apparent

Buy 2 doss houses and a pig sty and take a chance on property speculation.

<moves Smurf to square corner on declaring 'Play School!'>

<moves everyone else to the round corner of fate>

<Cheerfully gives CR 10 Liberian dollars, hopes it helps with snake bite/bee sting/sore hand>

<enjoys change of fete, but had rather hoped for bunting>

<sets up Mouse Trap and Leap frogs over OB>

<notices slimy hand with indentations>
<Follows ES's lead leapfrogging OB>
<notices that hand is now clean>
<sees lapel-less suit on dummy - narrowly avoids Mao's Trap>

Plays joker

yells 'you know'

lands on Heisenberg's cat

escapes with minor scratching and one severe bite

did not realise H's cat was a leopard.

plays trump

goes to 'In Gaol"

turns a misses, sorry, misses a tern

<declares fini and Speckles the obvious winner with five radishes and the stepladder in reserve>

Lodges objection.

Must finish on a six.

throws a dice.

gets walloped by Speckles who was hit by die and is now a plain colour.

Climb ladder onto Speckless's back and urge him towards victory

Specky gets sidetracked by snake


Move mongoose into top hat and throw arms in air

Realise this was a forfeitable error and await retribution

Eat some orange Spangles whilst leaning on nearest lamp-post

Sings George Formby songs.

ends recital with 'you'd be much better off in a home'

Looks around treehouse

wonders how to tell difference other than lack of ukuleles in sane areas

exits for Widdicombe faior

<turns the Widdecombe>

<adds ukulele>

<departs stage left with snake>

considers 'ukulele'

considers 'devolution'

wonders if, due to application of devolution, ukuleles will in future, according to regional relevance, be knowns as enguleles, welshleles, and scotulele and for those off shore, foruleles.

wonders if BK would forego pointy stick for ukulele tuned sharp?

returns to multicoloured smarty simulacrums with chocolate and psychotropic substances.

stops considering ukuleles

fades out...........

<pokes semi-transparent Bunyip with forgotten Ulstelele>

<scampers off stage right>

<makes immense chain of deductions, culminating in the discovery of the Great Washing Machine theory of the Universe>

<gets bored>

<drinks>

<walks dizzily around and then spins>

<passes 'go'>

<points ES to painkillers in medicine cabinet after passing a "go">

<stifles a snicker, or was that a marathon>

rubs self where prodded by ulstelele (non-capitalised)

craves forgiveness from relevant population

hopes there is a minimum size for 'lele's as fears attacks by mannuleles, jersuleles, guernsuleles and penguleles, not that I've been there but I believe it is very nice.

wonders if Speckles thinks bipedal inhabitants of treehouse are compus mentus?

Ask speckles what he thinks

Apparently he loves every body even those who have trouble with vowels

He hopes the game isn't over as he hasn't climbed a ladder yet

Take him for a gallop on Dartmoor.

He treads on a mongoose.

Return to the Treehouse downcast

Look for Violet Moon

Find her still asleep in comfy chair

Resist waking her as she is a game player nonpareil

Eat some liquorice comforts(sic)

enters treehouse by side door

notices OB consuming and presumably enjoying liquorice comestibles

offers liquoice all sorts as attempt to curry favour

thinks curry good idea

exits with naan bread for interesting dinner

will poppadom back when finished

hopes poor joke insurance is still current