I remember them being described as Rats with a good PR agent

That is indeed a good point. Although some squirrels can fly so I suppose that puts them one notch above your average rat!

Happy Tuesday, ffellow literate people. I can only assume ffrom the amount of good grammar and clever articulation in the posts I've read so ffar that I'm the only American here. Apologies on behalf of the country will be posted every half-hour ffor the next seventeen years.

Anyway, I live in Albuquerque, NM, where I write and perform music and publish books. Blah, blah, blah; you've heard it before. More importantly, I enjoy coffee and cigarettes and I thank you very much ffor this delicious pie.

So tell me...when does the irresistible temptation to start every "f" word with a double letter start to waver?

ummm....neffer?

Hello Chris! We are are a quite international bunch, actually. British, American, Australian, New Zeelanders, South African, Tanzanian, Dutch, German...there even is someone Irish somewhere. So, the choices in pies should be quite varied. Get youself some!

You publish books? What sort?

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It's a newly-discovered breed of fish that keeps your teeth clean, tastes delicious and dissolves in water.
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Fascinating. One can't imagine being able to ask cultural questions of people from all over the planet even fifteen years ago (such as, for instance, "New Zealand? Really? Can I move in?").

I should have made myself more clear. I publish only my books, or rather get them published. The FBI's still looking into the reasons for this. In the meantime, I hesistate to provide any Amazon links, since not only does it seem a bit rude, but also the next one's coming out in a month and (perhaps like a lot of writers) this latest book is so much funnier than the last that I'm embarrassed that the last even exists. I'll try to post something modest and non-plug-looking when the new one finally comes out.

(Remembering which website I'm in)
Granted, I'm no Fforde or anything. I mean, c'mon. Sheesh.

Tanzanian? Who's Tanzanian? I know ZB is Zimbabwean, so she's the closest to Tanzania that I know of. I thought we were to only to fforumites on the Affrican continent.

Welcome Chris and JaneE.

__________________________________
'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

Welcome, Chris! (And welcome back, JE!)

Maybe PrinzHilde meant "Tasmanian". Isn't there someone here from Tasmania?

And Chris, I share your embarassment with people (especially from our country) who inflict such horrible misspellings on a poor defenseless language that never did anything to anybody.

The Tasmanian would be me, and if Prinze did mix Tasmania and Tanzania up, he certainly wouldn't be the first one.

Which still doesn't excuse him....


Hi Chris and Jane, btw.

Thanks very much. You folks are awfully nice!

Hmmm.

(Covering wallet and pie defensively)

Hey! Greetings, Howdy Doodles and all that jazz!
Always nice to meet new people (I am new too, just slightly less new!) I offer you chocolate cake! You can even have the glazed cherry from my piece as I don; tlike them and my doggie who does is asleep! My spelling is shocking, my punctuation is shocking but I just ask for some forgiveness and humour from you guys!

I LOVE the name Albuquerque! I once met a guy from New Mexico who was walkign the west highland way and he was amazed that I had heard of new Mexico - apparently this is not a common phenomenon!?!

Hey JE, definitely a smart name, I ma up the road quite a bit in Scotland but I am pretty sure I have been to suffolk at some point, I think my doberman came from Suffolk! Very pretty countryside! I hop eyou are not being affected by the restriction zone? Although according to the beeb not many folk appear to be!

nemades, seriously, your dog can die from eating cherries.

Also:

SQUIRREL!

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Vicious squirrel, barely restrained by leash.

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/__________/
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its okay, she spits them out, I won't generally offer them to people after she has licked the icing off them, but if you want it??? You are more than welcome! Tis yours for the taking!

arrrgh...most certainly I meant to say Zimbabwe...shame on me, and apologies to ZB...and I promise never again to call Tasmanians Australians!

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Design #3609494995:
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generated with The Prior-Art-O-Matic

Welcom Chris and JE,

looks like you're already quit comfy here.

Oh my God! He's not Welsh is he?

You're about as punk as Enya!

Good boy, Prinze... We don't want their sort here in Oz.
(ducks)

Greetings Chris, greetings Jane.

So anyway, you should provide us with an amazon link, because google has a stupid amount of results on plain old 'Chris'...

I echo Bonzai Kitten - please post a link

(flutters eyelashes and offers more cake!)

It just seems like I'd be a sod for posting links to my own books in another writer's forum. Or maybe I'm treading too carefully on cherry skins. One has to be self-conscious about accidental ego display, though.

The last book isn't nearly as funny as the one that's about to come out, and the final third of that last one comprises non-fiction social commentary that now seems awfully.....grumpy to me. The next one is so much funnier and more warmly written that I wish it were my first; it's the one I'm going to send to agents all over the place, hoping they won't just throw it in the trash, and I'll probably include a synopsis such as "Please please please sign me up so I don't have to release these print-to-order books anymore."

That's the nice thing about iUniverse -- they let you retain your copyright, even though they give you an ISBN and worldwide distribution. It's nice to know that someone in Mongolia, for instance, can walk into a bookstore and order my book, and actually get it. The company just doesn't spend promotion cash, and I'm terrible at self-promotion. So this is all done merely for fun, because I love the very process of writing. And as you can see, I don't know when to stop doing it. Sorry about the novella.

Anyway, here's a link, and thanks for the kind curiousity, the eyelash flutter and the pie. A boy does need all of these, after all.

[www.amazon.com]

And now, jokes about Mongolian bookstores, please.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/07/2007 06:16PM by Chris.

Don't be shy! We talk about other writers on Jasper's forum all the time (Terry Pratchett probably gets more mention than Jasper himself, I'll bet), so why shouldn't you mention your own?

Your books sound very good, actually, and I want to try 'em!

I just ordered the first one! Yay! (I think at least...) It is going to take a wee while, but I wait in anticipation! Also ordered a cheesy harrison Ford film!

kaz Wrote:
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> 198505 Wrote:
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> > ANd the rest of the site is worth a root too.
>
> We're back on sex again?


Not for the last 2 and a half years!

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Blood! Death! War! Rumpy pumpy! Triumph!